something amazing just happened to me.
all through college, i used to have frequent moments of this deep awareness of synchronicity in all aspects of my life; it was a constant presence of "ah" and relating one thing to the next with ease and obviousness, and it made for a very peaceful and blissful existence. somewhere that sense was buried and became harder to see, though it never disappeared...
i have spent this morning searching out websites in a string of subjects starting with childbirth education classes to hypnobirth to conscious creation and after browsing so many sites, was lead to make a silly google search of "how to be a goddess." after a few stupid sites, i found one that seemed pretty neat, so i clicked through it, read a bit about calling on 'your goddess' for guidance, integrating your "shadow" goddess to become more whole, and other cool stuff. and then i abruptly became annoyed by the fact that you have to pay $20 to take their "which goddess are you quiz" (despite the site having real meat, i don't appreciate hooks and traps like that).
so i was about to leave it when i scrolled down just to see which goddesses they address as "guides" and they were all greco-roman save two: white buffalo calf woman and rhiannon. i teared up. and i clicked on rhiannon.
everything on the page was written for me. it IS me. my best and my worst, right there, reminding me of the things i need to work at and the things i am so very blessed with. it is exactly what i needed to read right now. what a silly thing to wonder who my goddess is, when every time i sign an email or answer the phone i should be reminded of her. i am my own goddess because she is me. it is only when i forget this and look outside of myself that these things become confused.
when i first read the mabinogion and really learned about my namesake, i was struck by the description of her, of her mannerisms and the witty (almost sarcastic) way she spoke, and of her reaction to the often traumatic events in her life. of course the stories themselves are a myth, an oral tradition, but everything about her is like me; and i am so different from the rest of my family. though my parents named me in ignorance, not knowing its origin, i learned very young that my name really does mean something, that it isn't just a strange song... it is my daily reminder that i am myself, and i am also something else. the echo of her in me and me in her is the most powerful tool i possess to help create my life the way i imagine it. i have direct access to my higher power; i *am* the access and the inspiration and the power itself.
i'm going to work on not losing sight of that. thanks, universe, for the reminder.
all through college, i used to have frequent moments of this deep awareness of synchronicity in all aspects of my life; it was a constant presence of "ah" and relating one thing to the next with ease and obviousness, and it made for a very peaceful and blissful existence. somewhere that sense was buried and became harder to see, though it never disappeared...
i have spent this morning searching out websites in a string of subjects starting with childbirth education classes to hypnobirth to conscious creation and after browsing so many sites, was lead to make a silly google search of "how to be a goddess." after a few stupid sites, i found one that seemed pretty neat, so i clicked through it, read a bit about calling on 'your goddess' for guidance, integrating your "shadow" goddess to become more whole, and other cool stuff. and then i abruptly became annoyed by the fact that you have to pay $20 to take their "which goddess are you quiz" (despite the site having real meat, i don't appreciate hooks and traps like that).
so i was about to leave it when i scrolled down just to see which goddesses they address as "guides" and they were all greco-roman save two: white buffalo calf woman and rhiannon. i teared up. and i clicked on rhiannon.
everything on the page was written for me. it IS me. my best and my worst, right there, reminding me of the things i need to work at and the things i am so very blessed with. it is exactly what i needed to read right now. what a silly thing to wonder who my goddess is, when every time i sign an email or answer the phone i should be reminded of her. i am my own goddess because she is me. it is only when i forget this and look outside of myself that these things become confused.
when i first read the mabinogion and really learned about my namesake, i was struck by the description of her, of her mannerisms and the witty (almost sarcastic) way she spoke, and of her reaction to the often traumatic events in her life. of course the stories themselves are a myth, an oral tradition, but everything about her is like me; and i am so different from the rest of my family. though my parents named me in ignorance, not knowing its origin, i learned very young that my name really does mean something, that it isn't just a strange song... it is my daily reminder that i am myself, and i am also something else. the echo of her in me and me in her is the most powerful tool i possess to help create my life the way i imagine it. i have direct access to my higher power; i *am* the access and the inspiration and the power itself.
i'm going to work on not losing sight of that. thanks, universe, for the reminder.
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