yesterday during my (very short and very silly) appointment at the birth center, i learned that they utilize ultrasound monitoring during all births as "policy." but it's not just monitoring every so-often, it's intense: every 30 minutes at the beginning, then every 15, then every 5 during pushing! it was really hard not to be very frustrated by learning that. i don't want any stupid monitoring--i know everything will be fine. (and how am i going to give birth in the tub if i have to keep getting out for the doppler?)
it's disheartening because i can't help but feel it implies they don't trust birth the way i am learning to do. everything i expose myself to these days is all about 'trusting birth' and giving in to nature's schematic and letting things happen... so at a place like the birth center, i want them to feel that too, to really get it and let things happen as they happen. but--no doubt a result of pressures from the medical community and/or fear of losing a baby and thus damaging their reputation--apparently that is just too risky for the midwives. the more i interact with medical professionals (of all kinds) the more clear it becomes that it is always the industry standards, the protocols, and the "doing everything by the books" that wins out.
i am not necessarily opposed to monitoring, because i understand they really just want everyone to be ok and to make it to the hospital on time should anything start to seem off, but it is hard not to feel disappointed in them anyway. i love those women and that place, i just wish it was more primitive, i guess.
when we have the next baby, i really think i am going to be at home by myself. or just "accidentally" not call the midwives in time to be there. not because i don't appreciate them, but because i don't think i need them. call me naive if you like; i call it faith in the universe.
it's disheartening because i can't help but feel it implies they don't trust birth the way i am learning to do. everything i expose myself to these days is all about 'trusting birth' and giving in to nature's schematic and letting things happen... so at a place like the birth center, i want them to feel that too, to really get it and let things happen as they happen. but--no doubt a result of pressures from the medical community and/or fear of losing a baby and thus damaging their reputation--apparently that is just too risky for the midwives. the more i interact with medical professionals (of all kinds) the more clear it becomes that it is always the industry standards, the protocols, and the "doing everything by the books" that wins out.
i am not necessarily opposed to monitoring, because i understand they really just want everyone to be ok and to make it to the hospital on time should anything start to seem off, but it is hard not to feel disappointed in them anyway. i love those women and that place, i just wish it was more primitive, i guess.
when we have the next baby, i really think i am going to be at home by myself. or just "accidentally" not call the midwives in time to be there. not because i don't appreciate them, but because i don't think i need them. call me naive if you like; i call it faith in the universe.
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