whew! last night was packed full of madness in my head. i'm not sure if i've mentioned that i don't really sleep well anymore--i wake up to pee at least once around 2am, and then i find myself wide awake at 430 for no reason--and part of the problem is the crazy vivid dreams i am having.
this is going to be nonsense but i have to try to recall and record as much as possible anyway:
it started as a tour of a home for sale(?) or something like that--other people were touring it and i was there, and it was xmas because there were decorations and presents. at one point i was looking at the bathroom and i noticed that if i jumped high enough i could see a hidden part of the house behind the bathroom window... a whole other bathroom behind it, preserved from the 60s complete with towels on the rack and hairbrushes on the counter... i was so pissed because it was big and it meant that part of our house was hidden from us when we could've been using it. and someone knew and just hadn't wanted to tear out the wall between them.
then i was in an apartment complex looking for a midwife's office that turned into a sushi restaurant where i was having dinner with two academics talking about soil and wetlands, and my friend gabe was sitting at the table next to us eating dinner before he had to start serving, and he asked me why the hell i was sitting with weirdos talking about soil. when he left i said to someone, "see, he's one of the gabe's leading to why i don't want to name a boy gabriel!"
then i was on a journey to a castle with a suitor of the princess, and there were lots of us in a long train of people on horseback, and the suitor was heath ledger (of course, lol) and someone was trying to trick him into doing something that i knew meant he would either die, turn into an evil person, or just lose the princess but i couldn't get to him in time to convince him not to talk to the bad guy. then it changed and i was in a parking lot with my parents maybe with an RV and a lot of other people, and the weather was getting really bad... we looked out and there were huge tornadoes all along the horizon and moving randomly closer and further away... it was extremely scary and yet exhilarating at the same time. after a few minutes the sky went crazy into a white/silver/pink luminescence with flashing streaks of lighting more like an LSD hallucination, growing along the sky and changing and flashing in swirls. i was just staring at it in shock wondering if reality was changing before our eyes and thinking it might be the end of the world because nothing else seemed to explain it.
then later i was with [x] (someone who felt like matt but i think wasn't) and we went through a door that lead to another dimension just like this one--we could go back and forth--and in the other dimension i found myself in a room surrounded by shadow people who were dancing along and inside the walls, lots of them, really menacing and scary and making noise. i was supposed to get rid of them and i had a knife from our kitchen, so i kept stabbing at the walls, but it did nothing unless the shadow person came out of the wall first. so i was just lunging and slashing trying to get them and finally the "leader" or just a big, scary, red-eyed, clawed one came almost totally out of the wall and i hit him, but he didn't seem to care so i just kept stabbing at his neck and still nothing happened until i tried a sawing motion and got through his neck and took off his head. then he died but it was anti-climactic because the others were still there... and shortly after i wasn't there anymore and the dream had ended.
wacky. i do dream of tornadoes relatively often and it's usually terrifying, but this time was different because they were so far off and it seemed that either we could avoid them (by having a head-start) or we had no chance and would certainly die (because there were so many). anyway. i have no inkling what they might mean but there they are.
on to the book. i started Naturebirth the other night and i was rapt--yes, rapt--before i finished the first introduction. it's very well-written and given completely from a first-person perspective yet no less informative and objective than one would want a "facts" book to be. even though she is clearly giving her opinion... she's right and she's smart! really great so far. i read 70 pages in the last 2 days, which is a feat for me at this point considering how little time i spend reading lately.
i want to quote parts of it here, but so far i would end up quoting the entire book...
this is going to be nonsense but i have to try to recall and record as much as possible anyway:
it started as a tour of a home for sale(?) or something like that--other people were touring it and i was there, and it was xmas because there were decorations and presents. at one point i was looking at the bathroom and i noticed that if i jumped high enough i could see a hidden part of the house behind the bathroom window... a whole other bathroom behind it, preserved from the 60s complete with towels on the rack and hairbrushes on the counter... i was so pissed because it was big and it meant that part of our house was hidden from us when we could've been using it. and someone knew and just hadn't wanted to tear out the wall between them.
then i was in an apartment complex looking for a midwife's office that turned into a sushi restaurant where i was having dinner with two academics talking about soil and wetlands, and my friend gabe was sitting at the table next to us eating dinner before he had to start serving, and he asked me why the hell i was sitting with weirdos talking about soil. when he left i said to someone, "see, he's one of the gabe's leading to why i don't want to name a boy gabriel!"
then i was on a journey to a castle with a suitor of the princess, and there were lots of us in a long train of people on horseback, and the suitor was heath ledger (of course, lol) and someone was trying to trick him into doing something that i knew meant he would either die, turn into an evil person, or just lose the princess but i couldn't get to him in time to convince him not to talk to the bad guy. then it changed and i was in a parking lot with my parents maybe with an RV and a lot of other people, and the weather was getting really bad... we looked out and there were huge tornadoes all along the horizon and moving randomly closer and further away... it was extremely scary and yet exhilarating at the same time. after a few minutes the sky went crazy into a white/silver/pink luminescence with flashing streaks of lighting more like an LSD hallucination, growing along the sky and changing and flashing in swirls. i was just staring at it in shock wondering if reality was changing before our eyes and thinking it might be the end of the world because nothing else seemed to explain it.
then later i was with [x] (someone who felt like matt but i think wasn't) and we went through a door that lead to another dimension just like this one--we could go back and forth--and in the other dimension i found myself in a room surrounded by shadow people who were dancing along and inside the walls, lots of them, really menacing and scary and making noise. i was supposed to get rid of them and i had a knife from our kitchen, so i kept stabbing at the walls, but it did nothing unless the shadow person came out of the wall first. so i was just lunging and slashing trying to get them and finally the "leader" or just a big, scary, red-eyed, clawed one came almost totally out of the wall and i hit him, but he didn't seem to care so i just kept stabbing at his neck and still nothing happened until i tried a sawing motion and got through his neck and took off his head. then he died but it was anti-climactic because the others were still there... and shortly after i wasn't there anymore and the dream had ended.
wacky. i do dream of tornadoes relatively often and it's usually terrifying, but this time was different because they were so far off and it seemed that either we could avoid them (by having a head-start) or we had no chance and would certainly die (because there were so many). anyway. i have no inkling what they might mean but there they are.
on to the book. i started Naturebirth the other night and i was rapt--yes, rapt--before i finished the first introduction. it's very well-written and given completely from a first-person perspective yet no less informative and objective than one would want a "facts" book to be. even though she is clearly giving her opinion... she's right and she's smart! really great so far. i read 70 pages in the last 2 days, which is a feat for me at this point considering how little time i spend reading lately.
i want to quote parts of it here, but so far i would end up quoting the entire book...
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