september mama

(luckily not in terms of children, ha!)

yes, we have more animals now. let's tally them all:

- 2 cows, both pregnant. that means we will soon have FOUR cows.
- 2 cats.
- 2 roosters.
- 11 hens - one of whom is broody as hell and has claimed a nest with 20! eggs in it.
- 6 chicks.
- 7 rabbits (5 does, 2 bucks) and the litter of bunnies.
- 4 ducklings.

matt brought home the extra rabbits and the ducks last weekend. apparently we didn't have enough already..! so the ducks are for eggs and meat, from what i understand, and it would seem that he wants to eat rabbit at least once a week for the next forever, considering we have the 8 babies and three of our does are pregnant right now. that's a lot of rabbit. we are going to need a bigger deep freezer...

the good news is that now that we have ducks, matt has to build a pond :) :) :). i'm very happy about that. though it also means that teaching rowan to swim will be priority #1 this summer.

i managed to plant a bunch of flower seeds a few days ago, so my hope is that this year i might actually have flowers (other than blackberry) in my yard. we did have some black-eyed susans and my morning glories did very well, but the rest of my flower beds were basically filled with grass, which sucked. but i figured i might as well throw the rest of my seeds now and see what happens.

that's about it for now - i'm waiting for butters to calve because i think i am seeing some signs that the birth is impending... i just hope it goes well for all of us!

my IUD insertion was a dream. i took some xanax ahead of time but it turned out to be totally unnecessary--i didn't even feel it. the speculum was the only thing i felt the whole time. ?! yay for having kids first, i guess. and i'm not even cramping! *cheer*

last night i worked out with my shamefully fit cousin doing the P90X DVDs, and i'm hooked. $130 for ten amazing videos... we only did the 'kenpo' one, which is an hour of punching and kicking, and i was beat. much looking forward to future beatings of a similar nature.

that's all for today.

T H I S W E E K ' S M E N U
ingredients marked with * are home grown!

sunday: don't ask.

monday: grilled marinated london broil; steamed green beans; twice-baked potato

tuesday: spinach & garlic stuffed chicken breast; balsamic roasted potatoes and turnips*; fresh greens* with blackberry* vinaigrette

wednesday: leftover london broil fajitas with peppers and onions; fresh greens*; turnip* chips

thursday: crockpot pork tenderloin; mashed potatoes, turnips*, and sweet potatoes; sauteed turnip greens* and spinach*

friday: tuna steaks with sweet soy glaze on a bed of wilted bok choy*; bean thread noodles with soy-ginger glaze & scallions

saturday: italian stuffed peppers; fresh greens*

last night matt very gently let me know that my cooking efforts are sub-par to his expectations and that he would appreciate it if i put a little more forethought and creativity into dinner. fair enough; i am inherently kind of lazy and the kids make it easy for me to rush and not care what i am cooking. he works a somewhat crappy job for our sake and deserves to enjoy dinner when he comes home, so i'm now planning menus because last-minute doings just don't work for me.

i thought i would share my menus in case anyone else is in a similar boat... i'm deciding just how to do it but a guess a weekly "menu" post will cover it. on we go.

i'm getting my IUD thursday via a "mainstream medical type" as previously alluded to. should be tons of fun... i'm all ready with my zonk-out drugs because i'm not in the mood for reproductive-area pain right now. i'm a little annoyed that i have no way of getting to the appointment other than having my mother take me and the kids over there. i was hoping for this to be a child-free event, being that i don't want to nurse liam while on aforementioned zonk-out drugs and i really don't want to fuss with them in the car while i'm crampy. but alas. one babysitter and one driver available, and they happen to be the same person... but as long as i get the freaking device put in place as planned i will be happy.

good news on the weight-loss front: turns out my cousin and aunt have already formed a little neighborhood workout group which they are happy to have me join! every other night they walk, and the odd nights are workout-video sessions. awesome. scheduled exercise works really well for me, and it's after the kids are asleep so i can actually do it guilt-free. matt will have to be without his nightly movie partner, but i am certain he's willing to sacrifice for the sake of me losing this baby belly. i know i am. i'd like to do the whole before/after photo thing but i can't bear the sight of my body these days and thus i will not be photographing it in such a revealing any fashion. this is also great because i tend to have my evening sweets (ice cream) during the time that i will now be busy sweating. and i can't drink beer before a workout...

I AM SO READY TO LOOK LIKE I USED TO! inspiration:

liam pulled an 8-hour sleep last night, finally! i am really hoping this means he will be a normal nighttime baby now. it was blissful to wake up and actually feel like i had slept.

today i seem to have begun a serious return to healthfulness (which i hope will bring with it a reduction of ass--and other--flab). i'm juicing the excess veggies from the garden (mmm... turnip juice... lol) and i found a nice little recipe to make healthy, but filling, muffins out of the leftover pulp. cue my favorite homemade ginger/lemon/honey tea instead of 20 cups of coffee per day and replace various junkish foods with yogurt and granola, and i should be doing pretty good. not eating meat is a plus too. i even worked out a la the "fabulously fit moms" dvd from my netflix queue. it's so cheesy but it made my lame ass sweat. i'm going to try to do it at least 3x a week...

it's hot outside today, which sort of confuses me. we're halfway through february..? last year it was freezing until easter. i never talk about this because it definitely makes me sound like i broke out of Bedlam, but i think massively devastating things are on the way shortly. crazy signs in the sky, earthquakes, tsunamis where they shouldn't be, and cracking continents. the flooding in pakistan and indonesia is just the start... but enough about that. i was just talking about the weather.

bunny mama lost a baby. *sigh* she kicked it out of the nest last night, i hope after it was already dead. he was the runt and didn't seem to be getting fed, but it makes me really sad because i considered bringing him in and hand-feeding him to keep as a pet for rowan... but i checked on him yesterday and he looked better so i didn't do it. now i wish i had :(. it's nature, but it still hurts. mama has 8 babies left though, and they are all fierce and furry.

our egg harvest has gone down to 6 a day recently and i know it's because those freaking sluts are laying eggs out in the yard somewhere. we have eleven hens, so even if a few don't lay every day we should be getting more than that. so today and tomorrow and the next day they are being kept in their pen. i'm not sure how long a hen can resist laying before she will find a new spot, but i would think not long. we'll see.

time to go help rowan with "elmo singy!!"

you know, i really want to like the birth center. i love the women who work there, i love the oldschool community connections, i love the fact that they support a hugely undervalued necessity of life for childbearing women, and so on. but bloody hell and flaming bollocks, they fucking suck! i hadn't mentioned this before but my tax forms were all sorts of fucked up when they came in the mail, though i didn't bother to fuss and try to have them fixed (staff changeovers were the reason and i'm not interested in explaining and fighting about it)... and now my IUD appointment was cancelled, in short, because they don't have their shit together. i need NEED NEED NEED that IUD! so now, i'm forced to either wait another MONTH for an appointment (since their ARNP only works one day a freaking month) or go somewhere else and deal with "doctors" and paperwork and all that crap. sigh. i want to support them. i want to say hi. i want a woman i know and trust to do the procedure for me. but more importantly, i want my motherfucking IUD.

oh and by the way, the day she can do the insertion is two days before i have a big art show in which i'm selling my screenprints. not really going to be able to put on a happy face and sell shit when i'm doubled-over with fresh cramps (or drugged up to mask them). ARGH!

whatever, i have my options. i'll just have to call around tomorrow and see what i get in terms of appts with the mainstream medical-types.

this post was supposed to be about wild runaway mommy-brain, so let's start over:
i've always had a problem with daydreaming and spacing-out into neverland a little too often, but last night i was taken to a whole new level... i think having children and being constantly forced to deal with life moment-by-moment--and i don't mean in a zen sort of timeless now fashion--has possibly done some weird things to my head. i planned this trip to the grocery store for last night after the kids were sleeping, making it the first totally un-rushed, peaceful grocery trip i've had in almost 2 years. the drive into town is a good 15+ minutes of nothing but dark roads and whatever is on my stereo (which i could actually hear for once). my brain exploded. i felt like i had taken acid again, in a way; it was like the quiet of having no mental demands caused a massive burst into wild freeform thought exploration the likes of which i cannot recall experiencing while sober. i was overwhelmed and found myself just watching the crazy places my head went. i can't begin to explain the paths that were taken so i won't try, but suffice it to say i was more spaced-out and daydreamy than even i like to be. all this from observing a few short minutes of peace and quiet on a nighttime drive...

i didn't realize just how whacked-out i was until the video store. i walked in and was greeted by lennon's "while my guitar gently weeps" (love that song; but it also reminds me of a long-ago acid trip) and managed to find a few suitable movies relatively quickly. standing at the register i remember looking at a poster for paranormal activity 2 and thinking "bah, that will be scary as hell but really stupid, i am so not interested in that movie"... as i drove off to the grocery store and looked at my movie rentals, what do you guess was staring back at me? oh yes, paranormal activity 2. cue the 'what-the-fuck' moment of the week. no, month. maybe longer. am i really THAT dumb?

my trip to the grocery store was similar, though i am relieved to say i didn't buy any foods that i hate and then wonder why... i just felt the oddest sense of freedom being able to walk through the store and have my own thoughts as my only companion. i actually bought beer, too--which i will probably get shit for--and when the cashier IDed me it went like this:
bag boy: 'i asked for ID the other day and the lady turned out to be 50!'
cashier: 'whoa, that's funny'
me, to both of them: 'well how old do you think i am? really?'
bag boy: 'ummm'
cashier: (looking at me really hard) '23'
(i laugh)
cashier at the next register: (looking at me really hard) '19'
me: (laugh harder) 'shut up, i'm seriously asking'
... etc... so i tell them i'm 29 and they all kind of make this "shit, you're old" face. so i tell them i have two kids and it gets worse.

i'm not sure if they were just young and stupid or if i really look younger than i am, but 19 seems absurd. though i must admit i was excited to maybe look under 25... blah. that just means i am getting old.

rowan continued to be sick last week, though i have decided now that she was teething too. the combination of symptoms (night waking, gross diapers, snot, crankiness) is obvious in hindsight... but let me tell you about thursday.

rowan woke up way too early and i was changing her in the dark because i was still half-asleep, when she started saying "poopie hands" repeatedly. oh god. yep. so i turned on the light and it wasn't just her hands, which had somehow found their way into her diaper, it was also her sheets, the padded bumper around her headboard, and her blankets. yay for diarrhea! into the wash it all went. the morning was fine after that, and when i put her down for her nap in just a diaper and a shirt, i remember saying to myself "she needs pants, this is a bad idea" but i guess laziness took over and i ignored it. 30 minutes later she is wailing and kicking the wall for my attention, so i went to get her and it was a horrible and yet hilarious scene: rowan lying on her side as if paralyzed with her diaper undone and hanging off her body, with gross runny poo coming down off her, through the side of the diaper, and straight onto the bed. she was whining and upset and wouldn't move because she didn't want it all over her (i shouldn't laugh but it really was funny). it was, again, all over the CLEAN sheets, and now also on her favorite little 'pillow pet' --thanks grandma--ms. ladybug. she had been shat upon!

i washed a second set of sheets while rowan played in my bathtub (with the drain unplugged, of course).

then, because mommy is really stupid, we decided to give the 'big girl panties' a go that afternoon. i knew her tummy had to be empty and i figured she would not want to pee in the underwear, so we talked over and over about how she would tell me when she needed the potty and so on... all afternoon i asked her every 5 minutes if she needed the potty, and it was always "noooo," so i left her alone. i must have ignored her for about 10 minutes at one point, though, because suddenly her panties were wet and i didn't know when or where it had happened. sigh. eventually i found a puddle on my bathroom floor. i'm sure the reason she didn't bother to tell me was because she knew she isn't allowed in there and didn't want to get caught.

as for blackmail, it's a bit of an exaggeration: i'm refusing to eat any meat until matt quits smoking. you'd think that would have no effect on him, but he gets annoyed if i even suggest i might be vegetarian again, so i'm hoping it will give him some small incentive to stop spending money and being stinky over something as stupid as cigarettes. he likes cooking excessively large slabs of animal parts for us, and he'll miss it if i don't partake... besides, at the very least i should theoretically be able to lose some weight just by cutting out the meat and replacing it with veggies. we'll see.

we had a litter of bunnies a few days ago and another is on the way today or tomorrow, and matt bought us a few rhode island pullets the other day, too. they are living in a fish tank on our dining room table at the moment. karen has successfully hatched four chicks from our eggs this week, too, which is really exciting. i hate that we will have to segregate them and deal with the whole pecking-order deal for a while when they are big enough, but it beats not having any chicks. i'm going to try another round of natural hatching later this week, i think. our hens want about 18 eggs under them to sit, so 2-3 days of no collection should do it for a full nest. i hope matt didn't piss them off too much the last time.

i'm about 1/3 of the way through knitting rowan's birthday dress (i started early to ensure it would finished on time, but now i think she will wear it for easter too). it's a really pretty little thing evocative of a flower, with the petals as skirt and the...inner part thingie...as the bodice. i'll post pics when it's done.

liam is blabbering away all the time, lots of new sounds and accompanying facial expressions. i love that kid.

i've made a resolution for perhaps the first time in history. i have an obscene (and surprisingly high-quality, considering my budget) stash of yarn, 95% of which was bought just because i liked it in the moment. now it is taking up space and doing nothing to curb my desire for more yarn... so i must be rid of it! and since i have been SPINNING--yes! it's amazing! addictive!--i have to find some excuse to do it more... "i am out of yarn" sounds like a good one to me. :) :) :)

so. the plan is to knit right on through my stash, give away the random leftovers, and spin my own when i need yarn for projects. from here on i will spin and dye yarns specifically for a given project, with as few exceptions as possible. as fiber is cheaper than yarn, i feel justified. plus i get to be twice as productive by doing it all myself. *rawr*

i'm quite proud of my planning skills at this point too, since i have managed to choose a project ahead of time for almost all my stashed yarn. i wonder if they are happier knowing their destinies are predetermined...

in other news, liam is big enough to sit in the bouncer! his feet touch the ground and he loves banging on the toys. it's really cute. he has been doing this little baby jig where he pounds his arms down and stomps one foot really enthusiastically; it's hilarious. he's also definitely teething because his fists are always in his mouth and he shouts about it most of the time. not crying, just a general ahhHHHHhhh while chewing. hehe.

rowan is advancing verbally at a breakneck speed. she's picking up so many words every day and stringing them together totally appropriately such that i am surprised by her no less than 3x a day. really need to watch my language to avoid embarrassing myself in public down the line. she's still a little cranky but now i'm starting to think it's because she has been sick... today she seemed better than she has been and she was a lot less troublesome as well. so who knows. terrible twos or just feeling bad? *shrug* i'm sure i'll be baffled by something else in another week or so.

no chicks this time around, the hens abandoned the nest (motherf*cking matt!). but we are getting 10 eggs daily now and i'm sort of swimming in them. i posted a barter ad on craigslist hoping someone wants to trade or buy some. we'll see.

gotta go clean up and make dinner now though.