before i get to the saturn return post i have to vent a little bit...
i am totally amazed at the negative reactions i have received when talking with people about how and where i intend to birth MY child. i was asked (by my boss and co-worker) whether i've gone to the doctor and i mentioned that i plan to visit the birth center soon and immediately got a strange attitude from them... total fear reactions and skepticism... then my boss asked me why i want to go there and i told her honestly that i don't feel hospitals are conducive to the natural conditions the body creates to evoke the best possible labor... and she snickered and gave me this "you don't know what you are talking about" look. it really offended me.
NO i do not want pain medications. NO i do not want monitors and IVs and nurses prodding me. NO i am not interested in induction, epidurals, or episiotomies, and i definitely do not ever want a c section!
she literally looked at me like i'm an idiot for wanting to birth at a center, let alone at home (you should have seen the reaction i got to that)! she said with a smirk, "it will be interesting to see how your opinion changes as you progress." now i realize that i am taking this a little too much to heart but fuck man, are women so detached from the power and wisdom of their bodies that they think they need a hospital to effectively give birth? like we haven't been doing this--without any help from anyone!--for thousands of years? it's a tragedy, and it's maddening... and the worst part is that i know she is expressing the consensus opinion on the subject. most women know nothing of birth other than what they have been told by doctors (which then becomes their own experience of birth, confirming what the doctors said in the first place).
i am truly sorry if your labor was agony and horrible and you begged for an epidural, but it doesn't matter to me; i know that i am not like you, because i understand how we create our own experiences out of our expectations and subconscious thoughts. i have never had a baby--or even been pregnant--before, but i KNOW my body knows what to do. i KNOW i can have an amazing, joyful, ecstatic birth as long as i trust my body to do what it is made to do. why is that so hard for other people to believe? or if they don't believe it, why do they feel they must convince me as well?
i realized today that the only thing i am afraid of is losing faith in myself in the face of others' doubt. it's miserable to feel like i can't be honest about my intentions without being bluntly and offensively judged for it...
i am totally amazed at the negative reactions i have received when talking with people about how and where i intend to birth MY child. i was asked (by my boss and co-worker) whether i've gone to the doctor and i mentioned that i plan to visit the birth center soon and immediately got a strange attitude from them... total fear reactions and skepticism... then my boss asked me why i want to go there and i told her honestly that i don't feel hospitals are conducive to the natural conditions the body creates to evoke the best possible labor... and she snickered and gave me this "you don't know what you are talking about" look. it really offended me.
NO i do not want pain medications. NO i do not want monitors and IVs and nurses prodding me. NO i am not interested in induction, epidurals, or episiotomies, and i definitely do not ever want a c section!
she literally looked at me like i'm an idiot for wanting to birth at a center, let alone at home (you should have seen the reaction i got to that)! she said with a smirk, "it will be interesting to see how your opinion changes as you progress." now i realize that i am taking this a little too much to heart but fuck man, are women so detached from the power and wisdom of their bodies that they think they need a hospital to effectively give birth? like we haven't been doing this--without any help from anyone!--for thousands of years? it's a tragedy, and it's maddening... and the worst part is that i know she is expressing the consensus opinion on the subject. most women know nothing of birth other than what they have been told by doctors (which then becomes their own experience of birth, confirming what the doctors said in the first place).
i am truly sorry if your labor was agony and horrible and you begged for an epidural, but it doesn't matter to me; i know that i am not like you, because i understand how we create our own experiences out of our expectations and subconscious thoughts. i have never had a baby--or even been pregnant--before, but i KNOW my body knows what to do. i KNOW i can have an amazing, joyful, ecstatic birth as long as i trust my body to do what it is made to do. why is that so hard for other people to believe? or if they don't believe it, why do they feel they must convince me as well?
i realized today that the only thing i am afraid of is losing faith in myself in the face of others' doubt. it's miserable to feel like i can't be honest about my intentions without being bluntly and offensively judged for it...
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