well, that was... interesting. lots of people were there, all couples except for two chicks, and mostly noobs at that. a few of the dads were dads already but most of the moms were first timers. our "teacher" is one of the midwives i can't decide whether or not to like. i don't think she enjoys teaching, however.
so last night's class was all about "normal labor and birth" meaning we went from pre/early-labor signs all the way through birth, and at the end she made us watch 5 or 6 natural births from "gentle birth choices" which as she said is 'the 90s version of the business of being born.' and oh it was soooo 90s. bad hair, bad fashion, the works. funny stuff.
anyway the class was ok i guess, kinda pointless for me but at least it got matt thinking along the reality lines of what this is going to be like. not that he hasn't already, but it was good to have a segway into discussion after class. interestingly, the one thing throughout that i had a problem with (maybe i just don't understand) was the one thing he brought up: apparently if the cord is wrapped when the baby is born, they cut it right away. matt didn't like that and asked me why they do it... i couldn't answer. it was the only thing i was like 'wait wtf?' about... why can't they unwrap it?
he also said something about how he hopes i don't want the whole family in the birthing room because it will make him uncomfortable, and i was relieved to say i definitely do not want ANYone in there... so that's another nice point of alignment.
it was interesting to see our teacher's reaction when one of the mom's asked if they will do the circumcision... she said "if we already know we want the baby circumcised, should we just let you know during the birth?" and i thought for a brief moment that teacher's head was going to explode. she turned all red and i know her heart was racing, and she basically said WE DON'T DO THAT and went on to expound how medicaid won't cover it, insurance often won't cover it, it's considered cosmetic surgery, talk to a pediatrician if you want that done and wait at least 10 days (and make sure you give him the vitamin k shot so he doesn't die of hemorrhage). her views on the subject were not at all unclear!
related to that, in the car on the way home matt asked me if circumcision was where they "nip the tip" and i said "well no, they cut the foreskin off" and he said something about how most people aren't circumcised (or something like that)... and i said "um, what are you talking about?!" and he seemed to think we had had a conversation about it before--which we NEVER have--but the bottom line was that it turns out he thought he wasn't circumcised. i think he thought it meant they cut the HEAD off. he doesn't know what an uncircumcised penis looks like. he didn't know what a foreskin was. *splutter* i had to explain it, and to tell him that almost everyone our age IS circumcised. i couldn't believe that!! i'm not trying to embarrass him or anything, because i suspect if i polled guys i know many of them might be just as confused... i mean, not to be gross, but even avid porn-watchers will never really see an un-extended penis for long enough to tell whether it's been circumcised or not, and if you don't know what to look for, how would you tell? it's not like we educate our kids on their anatomy very well, or talk to them about the procedures they have as babies. anyway, i was pretty shocked by that. part of me wanted to tell him all about what circumcision does, but i realized he has no intention of doing it to our future babies and there was no need to cause a stir about what he may or may not have lost against his will. he probably doesn't even care anyhow.
but back to class--i was also a little bit disappointed with the thoroughness of the information she gave. in the silly videos i watched months ago, the woman explained EVERY DETAIL of labor to where it was almost more for the benefit of the fathers... she made it accessible. teacher didn't do that at all, and i felt like she really skimmed over some things. but oh well.
anyway it will be interesting to see how things proceed.
so last night's class was all about "normal labor and birth" meaning we went from pre/early-labor signs all the way through birth, and at the end she made us watch 5 or 6 natural births from "gentle birth choices" which as she said is 'the 90s version of the business of being born.' and oh it was soooo 90s. bad hair, bad fashion, the works. funny stuff.
anyway the class was ok i guess, kinda pointless for me but at least it got matt thinking along the reality lines of what this is going to be like. not that he hasn't already, but it was good to have a segway into discussion after class. interestingly, the one thing throughout that i had a problem with (maybe i just don't understand) was the one thing he brought up: apparently if the cord is wrapped when the baby is born, they cut it right away. matt didn't like that and asked me why they do it... i couldn't answer. it was the only thing i was like 'wait wtf?' about... why can't they unwrap it?
he also said something about how he hopes i don't want the whole family in the birthing room because it will make him uncomfortable, and i was relieved to say i definitely do not want ANYone in there... so that's another nice point of alignment.
it was interesting to see our teacher's reaction when one of the mom's asked if they will do the circumcision... she said "if we already know we want the baby circumcised, should we just let you know during the birth?" and i thought for a brief moment that teacher's head was going to explode. she turned all red and i know her heart was racing, and she basically said WE DON'T DO THAT and went on to expound how medicaid won't cover it, insurance often won't cover it, it's considered cosmetic surgery, talk to a pediatrician if you want that done and wait at least 10 days (and make sure you give him the vitamin k shot so he doesn't die of hemorrhage). her views on the subject were not at all unclear!
related to that, in the car on the way home matt asked me if circumcision was where they "nip the tip" and i said "well no, they cut the foreskin off" and he said something about how most people aren't circumcised (or something like that)... and i said "um, what are you talking about?!" and he seemed to think we had had a conversation about it before--which we NEVER have--but the bottom line was that it turns out he thought he wasn't circumcised. i think he thought it meant they cut the HEAD off. he doesn't know what an uncircumcised penis looks like. he didn't know what a foreskin was. *splutter* i had to explain it, and to tell him that almost everyone our age IS circumcised. i couldn't believe that!! i'm not trying to embarrass him or anything, because i suspect if i polled guys i know many of them might be just as confused... i mean, not to be gross, but even avid porn-watchers will never really see an un-extended penis for long enough to tell whether it's been circumcised or not, and if you don't know what to look for, how would you tell? it's not like we educate our kids on their anatomy very well, or talk to them about the procedures they have as babies. anyway, i was pretty shocked by that. part of me wanted to tell him all about what circumcision does, but i realized he has no intention of doing it to our future babies and there was no need to cause a stir about what he may or may not have lost against his will. he probably doesn't even care anyhow.
but back to class--i was also a little bit disappointed with the thoroughness of the information she gave. in the silly videos i watched months ago, the woman explained EVERY DETAIL of labor to where it was almost more for the benefit of the fathers... she made it accessible. teacher didn't do that at all, and i felt like she really skimmed over some things. but oh well.
anyway it will be interesting to see how things proceed.
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