man, this is ridiculous. anytime i am tired, hungry, sore or otherwise not completely content i am at risk for having an uncontrollable emotional outburst. and i'm snippity.
we had a really bad morning today. matt was nice and awake earlier than he needed to be, but still in bed, and when it started to get late and he was still lounging, i got cranky really quickly and things just went downhill immediately. i got mad and he got mad and then i felt bad and didn't want to argue and started crying and couldn't stop. it's so stupid. i could've avoided that whole interchange if i had said ONE thing differently. but it just popped out.
so not only was i in-tears and puffy-faced, i was also 10 minutes late to work. fantastic. i really hate daylight savings time.
AND--some crap with family members is really getting to me. my parents--well my mom, at least--generally likes the name we chose--i'm not sure what my dad thinks--and my sister and her husband were really into it, even said it's "really pretty"... but my grandparents are being difficult. kinda shitty, in fact, which is highly unusual considering they are always supportive and understanding of my random strangeness. my grandmother called me the other night, ostensibly to discuss high-chairs; she was basically trying to dissuade me from wanting the one i really wanted by telling me it would get all smelly and moldy "really quickly" and then suggesting i get a stainless steel version instead (which i have never seen before). now, i completely understand her perspective and appreciated her advice and insight, but i know how to take care of wood. i am married to a carpenter. so i told her that i was glad for the insight but i definitely wanted that one, and she said she was going to get it for me despite sounding highly disappointed that i didn't change my mind. no big deal, really.
then she starts asking me (the actual reason for calling) "where did i get the name rowan from?" so i explained a little bit ('it's a tree with some nice mythological history') and then it really started. she didn't mean to, really--she wanted me to change my mind but she wasn't actually intending to be offensive--but she hurt my feelings quite a bit during that conversation. it took us SO LONG and a lot of difficulty to settle on that name, and frankly it's perfect, so i don't give a s*** what anyone else thinks, but geez... here are some of the things she said, verbatim (and keep in mind i am naming the little girl after her! a little gratitude wouldn't be out of place):
"i just don't get it"
"it doesn't sound like you and matt, i don't think of you with a girl named rowan"
"it sounds like a boy's name"
"it sounds like you're rowin' evelyn down the river!" (nice, huh?)
"grandpa says he's going to call her 'rep' [R.E.P.]"
"they're going to make fun of her at school, just wait" (good thing she'll be home-schooled...)
"it just doesn't fit you, i don't get it"
"i really liked lily, what happened to that?"
...to which my response, each time, was either silence, "hmm," or "you can call her whatever you want." and she just didn't get the fact that she was upsetting me. or she didn't care. it sucked.
then last night she called again, ostensibly to apologize FOR THE HIGH-CHAIR CONVERSATION, afraid she had been too pushy and hoping she hadn't upset me about that. ummm... ?? no, i appreciated her input. no mention of whether she had upset me about the name thing. so she's apologizing for the stupid high-chair thing and then--the real reason she called--went on to tell me about the crazy coincidence that her mother's (evelyn's) husband's mother's name was lily and how crazy is that? again with the name. as if all of a sudden, in light of that new information, i would say "hmm, you know, lily it is! nevermind if matt hates it!" it felt kind of like salt in the wound. not only had she NOT apologized for what really upset me, she actually kept making it worse. i couldn't believe it. i think one family name is plenty for me.
on top of that, i am quite sure matt's mother--if she even knows about our choice--hates it. so while i am standing my ground firmly with my family and, though hurt, not caring what they say, matt will almost certainly have a bee in his ear about it too. whether he ignores it or not is anyone's guess. so i'm trying not to worry that we will end up changing her name, because i really love it.
rowan gets to be her own individual and hopefully will not ever have to share her name with anyone she knows. that's all i want for her when it comes to a name.
we had a really bad morning today. matt was nice and awake earlier than he needed to be, but still in bed, and when it started to get late and he was still lounging, i got cranky really quickly and things just went downhill immediately. i got mad and he got mad and then i felt bad and didn't want to argue and started crying and couldn't stop. it's so stupid. i could've avoided that whole interchange if i had said ONE thing differently. but it just popped out.
so not only was i in-tears and puffy-faced, i was also 10 minutes late to work. fantastic. i really hate daylight savings time.
AND--some crap with family members is really getting to me. my parents--well my mom, at least--generally likes the name we chose--i'm not sure what my dad thinks--and my sister and her husband were really into it, even said it's "really pretty"... but my grandparents are being difficult. kinda shitty, in fact, which is highly unusual considering they are always supportive and understanding of my random strangeness. my grandmother called me the other night, ostensibly to discuss high-chairs; she was basically trying to dissuade me from wanting the one i really wanted by telling me it would get all smelly and moldy "really quickly" and then suggesting i get a stainless steel version instead (which i have never seen before). now, i completely understand her perspective and appreciated her advice and insight, but i know how to take care of wood. i am married to a carpenter. so i told her that i was glad for the insight but i definitely wanted that one, and she said she was going to get it for me despite sounding highly disappointed that i didn't change my mind. no big deal, really.
then she starts asking me (the actual reason for calling) "where did i get the name rowan from?" so i explained a little bit ('it's a tree with some nice mythological history') and then it really started. she didn't mean to, really--she wanted me to change my mind but she wasn't actually intending to be offensive--but she hurt my feelings quite a bit during that conversation. it took us SO LONG and a lot of difficulty to settle on that name, and frankly it's perfect, so i don't give a s*** what anyone else thinks, but geez... here are some of the things she said, verbatim (and keep in mind i am naming the little girl after her! a little gratitude wouldn't be out of place):
"i just don't get it"
"it doesn't sound like you and matt, i don't think of you with a girl named rowan"
"it sounds like a boy's name"
"it sounds like you're rowin' evelyn down the river!" (nice, huh?)
"grandpa says he's going to call her 'rep' [R.E.P.]"
"they're going to make fun of her at school, just wait" (good thing she'll be home-schooled...)
"it just doesn't fit you, i don't get it"
"i really liked lily, what happened to that?"
...to which my response, each time, was either silence, "hmm," or "you can call her whatever you want." and she just didn't get the fact that she was upsetting me. or she didn't care. it sucked.
then last night she called again, ostensibly to apologize FOR THE HIGH-CHAIR CONVERSATION, afraid she had been too pushy and hoping she hadn't upset me about that. ummm... ?? no, i appreciated her input. no mention of whether she had upset me about the name thing. so she's apologizing for the stupid high-chair thing and then--the real reason she called--went on to tell me about the crazy coincidence that her mother's (evelyn's) husband's mother's name was lily and how crazy is that? again with the name. as if all of a sudden, in light of that new information, i would say "hmm, you know, lily it is! nevermind if matt hates it!" it felt kind of like salt in the wound. not only had she NOT apologized for what really upset me, she actually kept making it worse. i couldn't believe it. i think one family name is plenty for me.
on top of that, i am quite sure matt's mother--if she even knows about our choice--hates it. so while i am standing my ground firmly with my family and, though hurt, not caring what they say, matt will almost certainly have a bee in his ear about it too. whether he ignores it or not is anyone's guess. so i'm trying not to worry that we will end up changing her name, because i really love it.
rowan gets to be her own individual and hopefully will not ever have to share her name with anyone she knows. that's all i want for her when it comes to a name.
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