*sigh*
i don't want to whine more than i already have--especially since i think i have worked things out in my head already--but i need to document a new discovery or two regarding the birth center.
my two favorite midwives quit. just like that. gone.
there are 3 left now, and one of them is only on call every other weekend (the one i like a lot), so chances are i will be looking at either X or Y... X i have never spoken to and Y is brand new there but i met her today and i quite liked her. so at least that's good.
but i'm feeling conflicted because one of the two "favorite" midwives is starting her own homebirth practice and is more than willing to take over with us. we have to make a final decision about where and how this birth is going to go.
in addition, today at my checkup i learned that there is a law stating that women have to have "hematocrit" levels at 10 or above to deliver in a birth center... mine is 10.9 as of the blood test, but no one thought to tell me there is a REAL consequence to not maintaining it! WTF? i would've bought that iron supplement already if i knew my birth was at stake! so while i am grateful for ms. Y letting me know, someone should have already told me about that. and i found out via our class last night that the same "someone" who didn't mention what hematocrit levels mean also lied--or misspoke?--about the number of attendants who will be at the birth: midwife, assistant, and senior student. f*ck that. it's bad enough i have to have two pairs of hands harassing me, three is just not going to happen. watch how fast i kick her--and it will be a her--out.
and despite all my crankiness at the institution in general, having a home birth WILL be a hassle. we don't have the kind of tub i want, i won't be comfortable with how "up my ass" any well-wishing visitors are (we have no really segregated spaces in my house), and matt will be stressed out trying to host guests and attend me at the same time. and then how to get the visitors to leave? i can't help but wonder if being at home--despite having a midwife i really connect with--might not be worse than biting the bullet at the birth center.
i'm almost, almost to the point where i want to ask her to attend me in-hospital so that i get the best of both worlds... a neutral space with the chick i want and a big tub. but i just know that means i will be opening an even bigger can of worms with the nursing staff and doctors. so that's just silly.
anyway. that's all i'm saying about that right now.
at least little rowan is head-down (as she has been for two weeks at least) and she seems to be lying on the left just like she should. she hiccups a lot and kicks regularly every few hours.
today my blood pressure was 120/68--higher than it has EVER been--and they asked if i was stressed out, i said "YEP" so ms. Y ran a little relaxation exercise on me and my bp dropped to 112/65 which is closer to normal. i'm usually 90/60 so it's still high, but nothing to worry about.
matt's mom arrives tonight (gods only know when), i have to get ready for this party tomorrow and possibly bake a cake, i have to print and ship a couple of shirts, buy supplies, and somehow manage to RELAX before tomorrow morning. i want to be peaceful, calm, and happy for the party. i think i may escape to my parents' house tonight just to ensure i get quiet time alone in a bath to chill out. i am excited about the gathering, i just need to get in a good state of mind. like has been kinda stressful lately... but things seem to be working out well regardless.
i don't want to whine more than i already have--especially since i think i have worked things out in my head already--but i need to document a new discovery or two regarding the birth center.
my two favorite midwives quit. just like that. gone.
there are 3 left now, and one of them is only on call every other weekend (the one i like a lot), so chances are i will be looking at either X or Y... X i have never spoken to and Y is brand new there but i met her today and i quite liked her. so at least that's good.
but i'm feeling conflicted because one of the two "favorite" midwives is starting her own homebirth practice and is more than willing to take over with us. we have to make a final decision about where and how this birth is going to go.
in addition, today at my checkup i learned that there is a law stating that women have to have "hematocrit" levels at 10 or above to deliver in a birth center... mine is 10.9 as of the blood test, but no one thought to tell me there is a REAL consequence to not maintaining it! WTF? i would've bought that iron supplement already if i knew my birth was at stake! so while i am grateful for ms. Y letting me know, someone should have already told me about that. and i found out via our class last night that the same "someone" who didn't mention what hematocrit levels mean also lied--or misspoke?--about the number of attendants who will be at the birth: midwife, assistant, and senior student. f*ck that. it's bad enough i have to have two pairs of hands harassing me, three is just not going to happen. watch how fast i kick her--and it will be a her--out.
and despite all my crankiness at the institution in general, having a home birth WILL be a hassle. we don't have the kind of tub i want, i won't be comfortable with how "up my ass" any well-wishing visitors are (we have no really segregated spaces in my house), and matt will be stressed out trying to host guests and attend me at the same time. and then how to get the visitors to leave? i can't help but wonder if being at home--despite having a midwife i really connect with--might not be worse than biting the bullet at the birth center.
i'm almost, almost to the point where i want to ask her to attend me in-hospital so that i get the best of both worlds... a neutral space with the chick i want and a big tub. but i just know that means i will be opening an even bigger can of worms with the nursing staff and doctors. so that's just silly.
anyway. that's all i'm saying about that right now.
at least little rowan is head-down (as she has been for two weeks at least) and she seems to be lying on the left just like she should. she hiccups a lot and kicks regularly every few hours.
today my blood pressure was 120/68--higher than it has EVER been--and they asked if i was stressed out, i said "YEP" so ms. Y ran a little relaxation exercise on me and my bp dropped to 112/65 which is closer to normal. i'm usually 90/60 so it's still high, but nothing to worry about.
matt's mom arrives tonight (gods only know when), i have to get ready for this party tomorrow and possibly bake a cake, i have to print and ship a couple of shirts, buy supplies, and somehow manage to RELAX before tomorrow morning. i want to be peaceful, calm, and happy for the party. i think i may escape to my parents' house tonight just to ensure i get quiet time alone in a bath to chill out. i am excited about the gathering, i just need to get in a good state of mind. like has been kinda stressful lately... but things seem to be working out well regardless.
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