september mama

a few nights ago i had another dream that included a moment of total and complete certainty that everything is fucked.* i look outside at the moon, in a sky that is too bright for night and too dim for day, and it is HUGE--the size of a dinner plate or larger--and there is a strange colorful/hazy halo all around it. seeing this is like being punched in the stomach, an instant knowing that all things are ending now and there is no more time left to mess around. i find myself dreading what i know i have to do, which is to explain to my family that we have to leave... i dread having to try to justify how i know what is happening and how i know where we need to go, because there isn't time to argue and i know they will doubt me. it's terrifying and i fear we are already out of time and that they won't listen.

i make note of this dream because, like the others, it didn't feel like a "normal" dream. it didn't feel like something my silly brain just invented during a mundane sleep. i don't know what to make of it.

*i had completely forgotten dream #3 in the older post until i just now read it again. wow. i am starting to wonder if these dreams aren't messages of some kind... maybe i am a contactee???? *nervous laugh*