man. 35 weeks. how much longer?! i am in that "ok, i'm done" phase, i think.
[commence whining]
i can't sleep at night for more than 2 hours straight, then i wake up either to pee or because i'm uncomfortable or because something HURTS (belly, leg cramp, finger pain, etc). i've apparently developed pregnancy-induced arthritis in all three finger joints of each finger... not too swollen, but achy as hell, especially in the morning! my feet STILL hurt when i walk or stand for too long, and now it seems like she is running out of room in my belly--she's taken to kicking almost constantly, and there is actual pressure a lot of the time, especially towards the top of my belly. it's not comfortable. oh and when i do wake up at 3am with pain from having to pee so badly, it's nearly impossible to get out of bed. i'm so heavy and so awkward, and just imagine: you wake up, huge belly preventing you from bending effectively, your fingers are so cramped that you can barely open them to lever yourself upright (stomach muscles don't cut it anymore, you need the leverage), your legs are hairs away from intense charlie-horse cramps--the wrong move will set them off--and when you finally hoist yourself up and off the side of the bed, you land on feet that would scream if they had vocal chords because they are so sore and can't take the sudden weight. then you waddle (yes, waddle) on protesting feet towards the bathroom, still feeling the almost-cramps in your legs with each shift in weight, and just hoping the pressure in your stomach and pelvis doesn't burst the baby right out, dilated cervix or not.
this me every night. often multiple times per night. did i say pregnancy was easy?! HA!
[end whining]
ok really it has been, it's just this last little bit that is pushing me to my limits of physical endurance. it could have been so very much worse..!
list of things i am lucky and grateful for NOT having to deal with in this pregnancy:
- excessive or genuine morning sickness complete with vomiting
- stretch marks
- heartburn
- back pain
- cravings for wacky foods
- sweating/temperature issues
- constipation
- hemorrhoids
- "girly infections"
- psychotic mood swings
- severe weight gain
compared to all those totally normal complaints that most people have, my situation doesn't seem all that bad.
i'm quite sure i'm having contractions though... it's a very interesting feeling, and it's definitely low and where it's supposed to be... like a sharp, tight feeling suddenly comes and i almost feel like the baby is moving and putting pressure somewhere or other (but really i think it's that my uterus is tightening around her). i think i might have them a lot at night, because i wake up in confusing pain that i can't make sense of most nights, and then i fall back asleep before i can sort it out. she's moving around non-stop today--i've had a lot of belly discomfort and i can't tell if it's because she keeps moving or if she's moving because my belly is doing something funny.
i had a really annoying dream last night also. i dreamed that i had her, but (again) i realized afterwards that i had NO memory of labor, and i started to get really upset... i was pissed and confused and wondering why i couldn't remember it; i wasn't sure if i had been given meds against my wishes, if we had a c-section, or what happened, i just knew i was unconscious for the birth and i was impossibly upset about it, because it was specifically contrary to what i wanted. and then i realized that i had given birth more than 24 hours ago and they still had her, i hadn't even gotten to hold her yet, and i was completely crushed and infuriated. i couldn't accept that we missed the critical hour after birth because i was unconscious, and i didn't understand why, either. so i was trying to get back to the hospital to get her, and probably to kick some ass as well (she was fine, just still at the hospital for some reason). this was all really annoying because it was a nightmare, and i woke up disturbed and upset... but the fact is even if i DO end up with a c-section i know i won't be unconscious because i will choose the localized anesthesia... i want to be conscious. so what the heck is my subconscious really worrying about? and where the heck was matt??
anyway... so the room is 100% finished! my mom bought us a crib and a changing pad thing, the floors are in, the walls are done, and it all looks fabulous. now all we need is the rest of the house to get done and then she can show up whenever she wants :) good news though! i sold my car AND matt sold his "spare" motorcycle yesterday, so we now officially have enough money to put in the floors we want for the majority of the house. nothing is holding us up from finishing everything, other than time... walls, floors, and we are done! we might actually have a livable, comfortable house before we have a baby. who would've thought...
[commence whining]
i can't sleep at night for more than 2 hours straight, then i wake up either to pee or because i'm uncomfortable or because something HURTS (belly, leg cramp, finger pain, etc). i've apparently developed pregnancy-induced arthritis in all three finger joints of each finger... not too swollen, but achy as hell, especially in the morning! my feet STILL hurt when i walk or stand for too long, and now it seems like she is running out of room in my belly--she's taken to kicking almost constantly, and there is actual pressure a lot of the time, especially towards the top of my belly. it's not comfortable. oh and when i do wake up at 3am with pain from having to pee so badly, it's nearly impossible to get out of bed. i'm so heavy and so awkward, and just imagine: you wake up, huge belly preventing you from bending effectively, your fingers are so cramped that you can barely open them to lever yourself upright (stomach muscles don't cut it anymore, you need the leverage), your legs are hairs away from intense charlie-horse cramps--the wrong move will set them off--and when you finally hoist yourself up and off the side of the bed, you land on feet that would scream if they had vocal chords because they are so sore and can't take the sudden weight. then you waddle (yes, waddle) on protesting feet towards the bathroom, still feeling the almost-cramps in your legs with each shift in weight, and just hoping the pressure in your stomach and pelvis doesn't burst the baby right out, dilated cervix or not.
this me every night. often multiple times per night. did i say pregnancy was easy?! HA!
[end whining]
ok really it has been, it's just this last little bit that is pushing me to my limits of physical endurance. it could have been so very much worse..!
list of things i am lucky and grateful for NOT having to deal with in this pregnancy:
- excessive or genuine morning sickness complete with vomiting
- stretch marks
- heartburn
- back pain
- cravings for wacky foods
- sweating/temperature issues
- constipation
- hemorrhoids
- "girly infections"
- psychotic mood swings
- severe weight gain
compared to all those totally normal complaints that most people have, my situation doesn't seem all that bad.
i'm quite sure i'm having contractions though... it's a very interesting feeling, and it's definitely low and where it's supposed to be... like a sharp, tight feeling suddenly comes and i almost feel like the baby is moving and putting pressure somewhere or other (but really i think it's that my uterus is tightening around her). i think i might have them a lot at night, because i wake up in confusing pain that i can't make sense of most nights, and then i fall back asleep before i can sort it out. she's moving around non-stop today--i've had a lot of belly discomfort and i can't tell if it's because she keeps moving or if she's moving because my belly is doing something funny.
i had a really annoying dream last night also. i dreamed that i had her, but (again) i realized afterwards that i had NO memory of labor, and i started to get really upset... i was pissed and confused and wondering why i couldn't remember it; i wasn't sure if i had been given meds against my wishes, if we had a c-section, or what happened, i just knew i was unconscious for the birth and i was impossibly upset about it, because it was specifically contrary to what i wanted. and then i realized that i had given birth more than 24 hours ago and they still had her, i hadn't even gotten to hold her yet, and i was completely crushed and infuriated. i couldn't accept that we missed the critical hour after birth because i was unconscious, and i didn't understand why, either. so i was trying to get back to the hospital to get her, and probably to kick some ass as well (she was fine, just still at the hospital for some reason). this was all really annoying because it was a nightmare, and i woke up disturbed and upset... but the fact is even if i DO end up with a c-section i know i won't be unconscious because i will choose the localized anesthesia... i want to be conscious. so what the heck is my subconscious really worrying about? and where the heck was matt??
anyway... so the room is 100% finished! my mom bought us a crib and a changing pad thing, the floors are in, the walls are done, and it all looks fabulous. now all we need is the rest of the house to get done and then she can show up whenever she wants :) good news though! i sold my car AND matt sold his "spare" motorcycle yesterday, so we now officially have enough money to put in the floors we want for the majority of the house. nothing is holding us up from finishing everything, other than time... walls, floors, and we are done! we might actually have a livable, comfortable house before we have a baby. who would've thought...
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