things have really normalized for us now, which i guess isn't surprising considering rowan is 3 months old today! geez. time flies...
everything is great, she's down to one feeding per night, she's happy--laughing--and babbling, finally outgrowing some of those newborn clothes, and putting on a little fat. work is totally no big deal and my mom is really enjoying having time with her, which is nice. she doesn't seem to mind my absence either.
we didn't get her vaccinated at her 2 month appt, which was kind of a big deal to the doc, the intern, and the random third authority figure in the room against me at the appointment, but whatever. they were trying to intimidate me but that doesn't usually work on me for one thing, and for another, i know what's in those things! and contrary to what i am sure they are used to, i HAVE read all about the vaccines and their respective diseases. nonetheless, i was sent home with lots of scary reading material and given numerous subtle reminders that i'm risking the entire "herd immunity" by not vaccinating her, etc etc... but i stood strong and said "maybe later, not now." yes, i was equivocating, but screw them. it is not a decision taken lightly, trust me--i just can't do it to her. but i imagine this conversation with myself (and matt, and maybe even rowan) will continue for the next few years, as i can't bring myself to say 'never' even though that's how i feel right now. blah.
i'm doing pretty well too, i think i've finally lost a few pounds(?) but i'm having a boob issue that kind of sucks a lot. i decided to go ahead and use the estrace cream one day, so i put a tiny bit down there where i needed it, and then read on drugs.com that it's totally contraindicated for breastfeeding, of course. so that was the only time i've used it... but the next day one of my boobs was really sore/tender, and since that was listed as a potential side effect, i brushed it off. but it really hurt to nurse, and kept up for about 36 hours when suddenly everything was normal again. i assumed it was the cream. but now it's happening again, same side, same sensation--there is no heat, redness, or obvious lump so i really didn't think it was a plugged duct, but i'm thinking that must be what it is. it HURTS. even when i'm not nursing, but moreso then (of course the best way to cure it is to nurse a lot and pump constantly until the block is cleared). all i can guess is that it's from rowan sleeping so long at night and the boob not draining regularly as a result. the thing is, the other side is the one that is prone to overfilling; my left breast has been operated on and produces about half as much as the right because apparently the surgeon had no regard for my future lactational abilities and just cut through whatever was in there when he removed the lump (this was when i was 19). so i'm wondering if maybe the scar tissue in there is partially the cause of the blockage...? anyway, it hurts and i want it to go away! the last time it was over pretty quickly on its own, but i'm going to try soaking it in hot water tonight because i'm tired of it.
speaking of tonight, matt's dad and stepmom are coming up. we've made a huge leg of lamb, some twice baked potatoes, veggies, and homemade pudding with timbales to impress them, lol. (of course since i don't eat land critters i'll be having fish instead.) i hope it turns out ok!
the next day:
ok dinner was great, my homemade pudding rocked, and now i know how to make funnel cake which was so tasty. my boob issue is 95% better too, after much nursing and manual expression.
"nana and pops," as they call themselves, wore rowan out this morning! she played and laughed with them for about an hour and half before crashing hard for a nap... i think we are going to visit matt at work later on, hopefully after lunch out somewhere :).
but back to the subject... about that paranoia re: getting pregnant from carelessness; apparently matt told our friends that he's 'trying to get [me] knocked up again.'
omfgwtf?!
you'd think he would've mentioned that to me first, but no. at least now i know why he doesn't seem to care about being safe... it's funny though, just the other night out of nowhere he said "so when do you want to have another baby?" and for whatever reason i didn't find that strange or get suspicious (as i should have, matt doesn't ask things like that nonchalantly) and i just said "i dunno whenever you do i guess" and didn't even bother to dig deeper. which is so unlike me. but i guess i got my answer, albeit not from the horse's mouth. and now comes the part where we are both ridiculous: now that i know his little plan, and since i am not altogether opposed, i have to continue to seem oblivious and just let things happen. because if i bring it up, or let him know i know his intentions, the pressure is on and it could turn him off the whole idea for years to come. i guess this pushy little spirit hanging around will have her way whenever she is ready, since the biological door will be open.
the only downside is now i will have to take a pregnancy test every month since i have no idea when to expect my period. or when i might suddenly find myself pregnant again. ah, the joys of "natural family planning" ...or lack thereof.*
it's really nice to hear that matt has let go of the whole being-broke-sucks issue, though... he seems to have learned that there are more important things to care about than money. and he loves being a daddy :)
12 weeks old
*i felt distinctly pms-like mood swing issues a few days ago, so i assumed i was either pregnant or getting my period... test said no baby, and so far no period either. weird.
everything is great, she's down to one feeding per night, she's happy--laughing--and babbling, finally outgrowing some of those newborn clothes, and putting on a little fat. work is totally no big deal and my mom is really enjoying having time with her, which is nice. she doesn't seem to mind my absence either.
we didn't get her vaccinated at her 2 month appt, which was kind of a big deal to the doc, the intern, and the random third authority figure in the room against me at the appointment, but whatever. they were trying to intimidate me but that doesn't usually work on me for one thing, and for another, i know what's in those things! and contrary to what i am sure they are used to, i HAVE read all about the vaccines and their respective diseases. nonetheless, i was sent home with lots of scary reading material and given numerous subtle reminders that i'm risking the entire "herd immunity" by not vaccinating her, etc etc... but i stood strong and said "maybe later, not now." yes, i was equivocating, but screw them. it is not a decision taken lightly, trust me--i just can't do it to her. but i imagine this conversation with myself (and matt, and maybe even rowan) will continue for the next few years, as i can't bring myself to say 'never' even though that's how i feel right now. blah.
i'm doing pretty well too, i think i've finally lost a few pounds(?) but i'm having a boob issue that kind of sucks a lot. i decided to go ahead and use the estrace cream one day, so i put a tiny bit down there where i needed it, and then read on drugs.com that it's totally contraindicated for breastfeeding, of course. so that was the only time i've used it... but the next day one of my boobs was really sore/tender, and since that was listed as a potential side effect, i brushed it off. but it really hurt to nurse, and kept up for about 36 hours when suddenly everything was normal again. i assumed it was the cream. but now it's happening again, same side, same sensation--there is no heat, redness, or obvious lump so i really didn't think it was a plugged duct, but i'm thinking that must be what it is. it HURTS. even when i'm not nursing, but moreso then (of course the best way to cure it is to nurse a lot and pump constantly until the block is cleared). all i can guess is that it's from rowan sleeping so long at night and the boob not draining regularly as a result. the thing is, the other side is the one that is prone to overfilling; my left breast has been operated on and produces about half as much as the right because apparently the surgeon had no regard for my future lactational abilities and just cut through whatever was in there when he removed the lump (this was when i was 19). so i'm wondering if maybe the scar tissue in there is partially the cause of the blockage...? anyway, it hurts and i want it to go away! the last time it was over pretty quickly on its own, but i'm going to try soaking it in hot water tonight because i'm tired of it.
speaking of tonight, matt's dad and stepmom are coming up. we've made a huge leg of lamb, some twice baked potatoes, veggies, and homemade pudding with timbales to impress them, lol. (of course since i don't eat land critters i'll be having fish instead.) i hope it turns out ok!
the next day:
ok dinner was great, my homemade pudding rocked, and now i know how to make funnel cake which was so tasty. my boob issue is 95% better too, after much nursing and manual expression.
"nana and pops," as they call themselves, wore rowan out this morning! she played and laughed with them for about an hour and half before crashing hard for a nap... i think we are going to visit matt at work later on, hopefully after lunch out somewhere :).
but back to the subject... about that paranoia re: getting pregnant from carelessness; apparently matt told our friends that he's 'trying to get [me] knocked up again.'
omfgwtf?!
you'd think he would've mentioned that to me first, but no. at least now i know why he doesn't seem to care about being safe... it's funny though, just the other night out of nowhere he said "so when do you want to have another baby?" and for whatever reason i didn't find that strange or get suspicious (as i should have, matt doesn't ask things like that nonchalantly) and i just said "i dunno whenever you do i guess" and didn't even bother to dig deeper. which is so unlike me. but i guess i got my answer, albeit not from the horse's mouth. and now comes the part where we are both ridiculous: now that i know his little plan, and since i am not altogether opposed, i have to continue to seem oblivious and just let things happen. because if i bring it up, or let him know i know his intentions, the pressure is on and it could turn him off the whole idea for years to come. i guess this pushy little spirit hanging around will have her way whenever she is ready, since the biological door will be open.
the only downside is now i will have to take a pregnancy test every month since i have no idea when to expect my period. or when i might suddenly find myself pregnant again. ah, the joys of "natural family planning" ...or lack thereof.*
it's really nice to hear that matt has let go of the whole being-broke-sucks issue, though... he seems to have learned that there are more important things to care about than money. and he loves being a daddy :)
12 weeks old
*i felt distinctly pms-like mood swing issues a few days ago, so i assumed i was either pregnant or getting my period... test said no baby, and so far no period either. weird.
Posts
August 13, 2009 at 5:49 PM
Yes I feel the same way about Vaxing. We just haven't taken her in for her 2 month appointment yet. We live in an ULTRA conservative area and Its hard to find any vax delaying friendly peds.
WOW you are a brave one! Ready to have another baby already! Thats awesome if you can do it. Are you planning to have more than 2 kids do you think?
August 14, 2009 at 10:56 AM
our area is actually really progressive (college town) but the docs aren't, generally. we plan to get her going to a naturopath soon but i haven't got on the ball to set it up yet... so until then i'm just telling her ped "no" whether they are friendly to it or not, haha.
i'm not ready for another baby physically, but i figure my body won't let it happen for a little while anyway... at least i hope! i really don't know how many kids we'll have, but honestly i don't *plan* to go past 30 with childbearing, so chances are that means just two. definitely not stopping at one though! :)