Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

ha! new blog love

oh yes, yes! rants from mommyland is going on my bookmarks bar.

check it out (excerpted from the post linked above):

Domestic Enemies of the New Mom
...
Veteran Moms
Don't get me wrong. You Veteran Mommies are often our saving grace with your wealth of knowledge and experience. But, can I be honest with you? It seems like the further away from that first year a mom gets, the more she forgets how difficult it can be. (Probably because she's focusing on how damn hard it is to be the mother of a toddler or 5 year old or...teenager.) A VM is often the person behind the phrase "Just you wait..." And let me tell ya, VMs: that phrase is not nice and needs to be removed from everyone's vocabulary. VMs have a tendency to brush off some of our New Mom problems because they know in the end it will all be okay. And maybe it will be. But, listen, New Moms? We don't know that. And we could use a little validation here. Or at least a hug. Or a drink. Also, if one more VM tells me to "sleep when he sleeps," I. am. going. to. square. up.
...
Exhaustion/Mommy Brain
This is another universal enemy, but New Moms also struggle with the belief delusion that it will eventually go away. HA. My baby slept through the night consistently starting at once he turned 8 weeks old, but I'm still trying to make up for those 8 weeks. I'm guessing that I'll finally start to feel well-rested again around the time my son and his wife ask me to babysit their kid. Of course, by then I'll be able to consider myself a Veteran Mommy and I'll be all like, "BRING IT, KIDS."
these ladies have a wicked sense of humor and a really fun site. score!

pissed off.

you know, i really want to like the birth center. i love the women who work there, i love the oldschool community connections, i love the fact that they support a hugely undervalued necessity of life for childbearing women, and so on. but bloody hell and flaming bollocks, they fucking suck! i hadn't mentioned this before but my tax forms were all sorts of fucked up when they came in the mail, though i didn't bother to fuss and try to have them fixed (staff changeovers were the reason and i'm not interested in explaining and fighting about it)... and now my IUD appointment was cancelled, in short, because they don't have their shit together. i need NEED NEED NEED that IUD! so now, i'm forced to either wait another MONTH for an appointment (since their ARNP only works one day a freaking month) or go somewhere else and deal with "doctors" and paperwork and all that crap. sigh. i want to support them. i want to say hi. i want a woman i know and trust to do the procedure for me. but more importantly, i want my motherfucking IUD.

oh and by the way, the day she can do the insertion is two days before i have a big art show in which i'm selling my screenprints. not really going to be able to put on a happy face and sell shit when i'm doubled-over with fresh cramps (or drugged up to mask them). ARGH!

whatever, i have my options. i'll just have to call around tomorrow and see what i get in terms of appts with the mainstream medical-types.

this post was supposed to be about wild runaway mommy-brain, so let's start over:
i've always had a problem with daydreaming and spacing-out into neverland a little too often, but last night i was taken to a whole new level... i think having children and being constantly forced to deal with life moment-by-moment--and i don't mean in a zen sort of timeless now fashion--has possibly done some weird things to my head. i planned this trip to the grocery store for last night after the kids were sleeping, making it the first totally un-rushed, peaceful grocery trip i've had in almost 2 years. the drive into town is a good 15+ minutes of nothing but dark roads and whatever is on my stereo (which i could actually hear for once). my brain exploded. i felt like i had taken acid again, in a way; it was like the quiet of having no mental demands caused a massive burst into wild freeform thought exploration the likes of which i cannot recall experiencing while sober. i was overwhelmed and found myself just watching the crazy places my head went. i can't begin to explain the paths that were taken so i won't try, but suffice it to say i was more spaced-out and daydreamy than even i like to be. all this from observing a few short minutes of peace and quiet on a nighttime drive...

i didn't realize just how whacked-out i was until the video store. i walked in and was greeted by lennon's "while my guitar gently weeps" (love that song; but it also reminds me of a long-ago acid trip) and managed to find a few suitable movies relatively quickly. standing at the register i remember looking at a poster for paranormal activity 2 and thinking "bah, that will be scary as hell but really stupid, i am so not interested in that movie"... as i drove off to the grocery store and looked at my movie rentals, what do you guess was staring back at me? oh yes, paranormal activity 2. cue the 'what-the-fuck' moment of the week. no, month. maybe longer. am i really THAT dumb?

my trip to the grocery store was similar, though i am relieved to say i didn't buy any foods that i hate and then wonder why... i just felt the oddest sense of freedom being able to walk through the store and have my own thoughts as my only companion. i actually bought beer, too--which i will probably get shit for--and when the cashier IDed me it went like this:
bag boy: 'i asked for ID the other day and the lady turned out to be 50!'
cashier: 'whoa, that's funny'
me, to both of them: 'well how old do you think i am? really?'
bag boy: 'ummm'
cashier: (looking at me really hard) '23'
(i laugh)
cashier at the next register: (looking at me really hard) '19'
me: (laugh harder) 'shut up, i'm seriously asking'
... etc... so i tell them i'm 29 and they all kind of make this "shit, you're old" face. so i tell them i have two kids and it gets worse.

i'm not sure if they were just young and stupid or if i really look younger than i am, but 19 seems absurd. though i must admit i was excited to maybe look under 25... blah. that just means i am getting old.

28 weeks and midwife says...

"i can't do your homebirth because you live too far away. my hands are tied."

a political sidenote

i Hate politics. i understand the arguments for why it's important to be into them, and to care, but i just cannot bring myself to believe in anyone who actively seeks power. they are ALL liars, period--and i won't support a system that acknowledges and accepts such a thing. nevermind the whole two-party problem... "lesser of two evils?" no thanks. anyway, i'm just saying this is not my usual genre of interest, but something caught my ear recently.

here in balmy, elderly, dumbass florida our governor did a really logical thing and now everyone hates him. there was a bill that would require women who want or need abortions to have ultrasounds first, and to pay for them out-of-pocket... and he vetoed it. (this is actually the second good veto he's spit out in the last few months; the other was about teachers' pay and tenure and was totally absurd.)

the idea is--and this has been stated publicly and officially--that women who want abortions should be forced to accept that there is a "baby" in there, and to really think about whether or not they want to go through with it. and because the state won't pay for abortion, they won't pay for the ultrasound for these pro-choice women, either. so... a woman having to make an incredibly difficult decision (maybe she has no choice, maybe she was raped, maybe she has a disease) now has to endure the fetus being thrust literally into her face so it can hurt worse. and she has to deal with the added cost of an ultrasound (normally about $150) on top of the already expensive (normally about $400) abortion itself. what the motherfucking fuck? judgmental assholes riding their high-horses trying to make life worse for those who are probably already having a hard time in one way or another, to choose abortions. even if the pregnancy itself is the only hardship in her life, that's bad enough! (and by the way, a first trimester ultrasound doesn't show much of a "baby" anyway, so it's apparent they are just doing it to inflict emotional trauma on these women.) there is even an organization (operation outcry, or something) composed of women who have had and regret abortions who support this thing! i feel for them personally, but i don't understand how they could support something this disgusting. they had a choice.

this bill pissed me off so much i can't even say it clearly. so, props to mr. crist for putting the smack down. he says he vetoed it because of the crap about forcing women to pay for something they don't want to do... of course now he is being derogatorily labeled 'pro-choice,' despite his decision seeming to be totally rational and unmotivated by political or personal agenda.

i really cannot abide by people forcing their views on others. don't even get me started on the gay marriage thing..!

hrmph.

i have an announcement to make:

i am sick of thinking about birth and pregnancy and babies.

i just want to finish being pregnant, knit a few things, have the baby and be done with it. i'm tired of blood pressure checks, urinalysis, vaginal exercises, breast concerns, birthing positions, vitamins, alcohol-free, and all the other shit that goes along with being a child-bearer! my world has been consumed with all of this since september 3, 2008. rowan is finally not a baby anymore and here i am, pregnant anyway.

don't get me wrong--yes i love birth, yes i am 'in it' with all my heart and will continue to pursue its mysteries either in career or hobby for the rest of my life, but for f*ck's sake i need a break! GAHHH!

i figure i am just feeling fussed-over and annoyed with it. this pregnancy is SO nonchalant that i expect everyone else to realize i don't need anything. i don't need to be monitored and i'm not interested in splurging my feelings to a maternity professional. i just want to be left alone; eventually the baby will come out and we'll go from there. it's not even that i don't want to be pregnant, per se, i just don't want all the fussing. (it's not even that anyone is really fussing, i just FEEL fussed-at by the fact that i have appointments and all the rest of it. i'm totally overreacting to nothing.) ((how many times can one use the word "fuss" in one paragraph?? apparently, many.))

at this point i am not even sure what i'm complaining about. o fickleness, pregnancy is thy name.

i just want some bloody sake.

off-topic post: fury

(warning: this posting is anti-religious. stop reading if you are going to get offended. i am not "atheist" but i am 100% totally completely anti-religion. it fascinates me as a phenomena, and i love mythology, but in practice... i think organized religion is, at best, for the weak-minded and unimaginative, and at worst, a series of evil mind-control cults. **having said all that, i defend everyone's right to believe what they want; i have no problem with people who are religious, just with the mob-mentality and hypocrisy of the organizations themselves.**)

did you hear the one about the nun who was excommunicated for saving a woman's life? nevermind, as the article so pointedly states:

"In the case of priests who are credibly accused and known to be guilty of sexually abusing children, they are in a sense let off the hook," Doyle says.

Doyle says no pedophile priests have been excommunicated. When priests have been caught, he says, their bishops have protected them, and it has taken years or decades to defrock them, if ever.

saving a life at the cost of another (only questionably "alive" in the first place!) is apparently more highly punishable than the powerful abusing the utterly innocent for their own pleasure.

all i can see in this grossly blatant double-standard is men's fear of women. i can imagine no other cause for the absolute HATRED the church has for abortion--no matter the situation--in light of their undeniably flippant treatment of disgusting, evil, rapists. men with power=forgivable! women with power=be damned! literally.

and this is one reason why i think religion is a bad thing.* people always want to say "but so many good things have come from people believing this or that"... yeah? like what? let's tally it up next to all the evil that has been perpetrated in the various "His" names and see how the scales balance out.

blah. end rant.

*i come from a strongly baptist (yes, southern) family and was raised as such until i turned 12 and decided it made no sense and conflicted with my inner sense of the universe. since then, i've had to put up with almost constant, subtle attempts to convert me or even drag me by the hair into the church and i have to say, the more i am exposed to it the less i am remotely interested in anything they have to say. it's a bunch of bullshit politics and fakers just like everything else. in a lot of ways i think the bible itself is really interesting (and in a lot of ways it's not at all) but the groups who take it and pretend to live its message, whatever that may be--in my experience--always fail. the worst part of being around uber-religious family members is when i find myself pointing out biblical passages that clearly reprimand things they say or do to others. how's that for irony?

and this is why it's bullsh*t...

...that the midwives of gainesville will not stand up for themselves and ask more doctors to back them up than just ONE. i have been seriously considering writing an open letter to the OBGYNs in this area to see what happens... there is a lot of drama and anxiety keeping the midwives from doing it themselves, if i understand the situation correctly.

anyway:

New York midwives lose right to deliver babies at home

Closure of hospital leaves practitioners without backing or insurance, driving home births underground

As residents of the world's consumer capital, New Yorkers can have anything delivered to their door at any time. They can have their hair cut in the living room, have champagne and caviar rushed to them on a whim, enjoy a shiatsu massage in their own bed or invite a clairvoyant to predict their future from Tarot cards laid out on the kitchen table.

But there is one thing that is currently unavailable for delivery to those who live in this most can-do of metropolises. Women can not legally give birth at home in the presence of a trained and experienced midwife.

This city of more than 8 million people, with its reputation for being at the cutting-edge of modern urban living, now lacks a single midwife legally permitted to help women have a baby in their own homes. "It's pretty shocking that in a city where you can get anything any hour of the day a person cannot give birth at home with a trained practitioner," said Elan McAllister, president of the New York-based Choices in Childbirth [you may remember her from The Business of Being Born -rhiannon].

The collapse of New York's legal home birth midwifery services has come as a result of the closure two weeks ago of one of the most progressive hospitals in the city, St Vincent's in Manhattan. When the bankrupt hospital shut its doors on 30 April the midwives suddenly found themselves without any backing or support.

There are 13 midwives who practise home births in New York, and under a system introduced in 1992 they are all obliged under state law to be approved by a hospital or obstetrician, on top of their professional training.

St Vincent's was prepared to underwrite their services, but most other doctors and institutions are not, and they now find themselves without the paperwork they need to work lawfully.

Miriam Schwarzschild, one of the 13, is now in the invidious position of either abandoning her clients or operating illegally. "Apparently by taking a woman's blood pressure I am committing an illegal act," she said. She has no doubts about what she will do: she will stand by the six to eight women she helps in labour every month, law be damned. She said she intends to "fly under the radar", but is anxious about what would happen should she be reported to the state authorities. "At any time a nurse or doctor could report me, and once that happens they could go after my licence and shut me down."

Jitters are spreading among the tiny community of home birth midwives. The rumour has circulated that one of them has already been shopped to the authorities by an obstetrician at a hospital where she transferred one of her clients in need of medical attention.

The crisis of home birth in New York city is an extreme example of a pattern found across America. Fewer than 1% of babies are born at home in the US, and in New York that figure is as low as 0.48% — about 600 babies every year out of 125,000. That compares with a rate of about 30% in the Netherlands.

In much of Europe, midwives play the lead role in assisting most low-risk and healthy women to give birth, handing over to a specialist doctor or surgeon only when conditions demand. In the US, that relationship is reversed.

Obstetricians, who are trained to focus on interventionist methods and often have never even witnessed a natural birth, are in charge of about 92% of all cases. As a body, they are fiercely resistant both to midwives – who under the private medical system in America are their competitors – and to women choosing to remain at home.

In 2008 the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists put out a statement effectively instructing its members to have nothing to do with the "trendy" fashion towards home births. Yet despite Acog's stance, and despite the fact that the US spends more money on pregnancy and childbirth-related hospital costs than any other type of hospital care ($86bn a year), the country has the unfortunate distinction of having one of the highest rates of maternal mortality in the industrialised world. Its rate stands at 16.7 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births, compared with 7.6 in the Netherlands and 3.9 in Italy. Britain's rate is 8.2.

On top of that, about one in three pregnancies in the US end in a caesarean section — a product, critics say, of the highly interventionist approach that includes frequent induced labours and epidurals. Amnesty International recently dubbed the US record on childbirth as a whole a "human rights crisis".

Knowledge of these statistics, and of what is now happening to New York midwives, makes Julie Jacobowitz-Kelly see red. She is one of Schwarzschild's clients and is preparing to give birth to her first child, a boy she and her partner have already named Benjamin, whose due date fell today.

She said the current illegal status of the home birth midwives was "a travesty, it's absolutely ridiculous. It angers me that experienced midwives like Miriam are in jeopardy."

That is a view shared by some senior New York politicians, including Scott Stringer, Manhattan borough president. "There are 600 women who are going to give birth in the next year who want midwives with them at home, and to take away their rights and choices is so backwards it's embarrassing," he said.

Midwifery organisations are scrambling to persuade other hospitals to take over St Vincent's role by signing the so-called "written practice agreements" the midwives need to be legal. So far 75 hospitals have been approached; not one has replied.

Meanwhile, a bill is sitting before the New York state assembly that would scrap the system of practice agreements and allow the midwives to offer their services free of the control of obstetricians. But the bill may not be put to a vote at all this year.

"At the end of the day, hospitals are for sick people, and I'm not sick," said Jacobowitz-Kelly. "I'm going through one of the most natural processes women can go through, so why do it anywhere other than the most natural setting — my home."

• This article was amended on 17 May 2010. The original expressed maternal deaths per 100,000 live births in the Netherlands, Italy and Britain as percentages instead of ratios. This has been corrected.

all because one hospital--the only one with the common sense to back midwives--closed.

it's not that there is anything wrong with birth going underground, except that it is a normal human function which we have been doing FOREVER, it's just so fucking pathetic that the medical industry can just bully their way into getting anything they want from the legislature. as i commented on my favorite news site (where i found the article),

"there are so many reasons this is f*cked up.

but hey, at least the powers that be haven’t made it illegal to actually BIRTH a baby in a car, in your home, or wherever it ‘accidentally’ happens… it’s just illegal for a trained professional to attend you and attempt to ensure your safety. as long as you are on your own* as a poor, helpless, laboring woman it’s still legal.

for now.

…as if we haven’t been giving birth sans doctors for millions of years. *sigh*

*(i have heard of husbands/family members being sued for illegally practicing medicine when they attempted to assist their otherwise unattended laboring relative.)"


how long until florida makes midwifery totally illegal, again? it happened in the 90s, and midwifery lobbyists are constantly fighting the ACOG, among other groups, to keep it from happening all over again.

deja f*cking vu.

*sputtering every obscene expletive she can scrounge up*

AHHH! there is nothing more frustrating than finding yourself saying "i knew better, but i did it anyway." yesterday was a shitty day, all around.

first, it was day two of what is so far a three-day headache reaching from my forehead to the base of my skull and slightly down my neck.

then, i didn't have to work, which means 1) no money for that day 2) no chance of repeating the clean catch to verify my alleged UTI 3) no driving to gainesville to pick up things from the old house for the party. damn it.

re #2: no choice but to take the freaking antibiotics which may or may not be linked to heart problems and cleft palate--the study i linked the other day had several flaws, but still. so i got the damned things yesterday and agreed i would take the first dose in the evening. it ended up making me dizzy with a pounding headache that shortly lead me to the bathroom where i proceeded to projectile vomit my dinner, the antibiotic, and two tylenol i took for my headache.

i called the birth center to ask about a certain side effect of the macrobid (some issue with anemia) and found out they had been trying to call me anyway... because they got more records from "Dr. First Birth with Forceps" and decided I NEED A CONSULT WITH HIM TO MAKE SURE I AM OK FOR OUT-OF-HOSPITAL BIRTH! didn't we do this once before? didn't i kick myself in the ass for going? yes, and yes. wtf. this is why i was afraid to use the birth center again--they're afraid to spit without asking His permission.

the reason i have to see him this time is because i was prescribed a blood thinner postpartum at my own request after the traumatic birth i had and much discussion with matt and our hospital midwife. they made me go through a consult with Dr. FBwF last time around because they had no clue about my blood clotting issue; he sent me to the hematologist, who was totally on my side; everybody finally said OK and i got it in writing that nobody was going to make me take any blood thinners unless i decided i want to, because the hematologist said they weren't necessary. BUT NOW, because *I* decided *I* wanted to--not because any doctor told me i had to--they are making me go get another fucking consult with the doctor who already cleared me once before. why why why why why?

now any reasonable person would be saying, "what's the big deal? why are you whining like a kid who dropped his ice cream cone?" how about these reasons:
1) i live 35 miles from the doc's office and it's a huge hassle to get there considering gas is $3 a gallon and my car ain't exactly economy-class.
2) i've already been through this with him, and the last time he tried to tell me i was too high-risk for the birth center, let alone a home birth. i really don't care to hear his opinion again.
3) he was the one who ended up removing rowan from my vagina, and while i owe him in a major, major way for both not forcing me into c-section and skillfully repairing what i am told was an absolutely horrifying mess of a genital area afterwards, my memories when it comes to him are...shall we say...less than pleasant. not interested in seeing him.
4) HIS OFFICE IS AN ABOMINATION. i don't understand how the health department continues to allow them to operate as a business, nevermind a fucking doctor's office! it's dirtier than any wal-mart i've ever been to (as in, pee cups on random counters, no one wearing gloves, grimy surfaces everywhere, crap strewn about, i could go on forever)! his staff is usually rude and unhelpful. oh, and since he is way too busy, he rarely shows up for an appointment within 4 hours of the scheduled time. to call it a long wait is a bit of an understatement.

what really pisses me off is that i am not having to do this because the head honcho (NOT sarah, my midwife) is concerned with my well-being postpartum--if that was the case she could get me the drug i would need; i'm doing it because the birth center doesn't want to get in trouble for not having him clear me. fuck that. at this point, i am so over playing these games with them. she said "just go at your convenience--i know it's not convenient, but do it when you can." so i've decided it's not going to be convenient for me until, hmm, maybe 37 weeks? she can hassle me all she wants, i'm not wasting my time or my emotional peace in his office.

i intend to tell this to sarah, because she deserves to know where i stand on it. we actually discussed the plan for postpartum clot-control at my first appointment and came to a happy agreement that we'd work out an herbal concoction that i can take as an alternative, since i told her flat out i am NOT doing 4 weeks of daily subcutaneous shots in my belly that burn like fire. i will not do it again anyway, so what the hell is the point of me seeing Dr. FBwF? the worst part is i'm sure sarah disagrees with the consult as well, but she can't exactly flip off her boss. bureaucracy totally infuriates me.

so here we are again, just like last time... if the birth center feels they have to transfer me (either for non-compliance or b/c Doc says so), i'm done. unassisted home birth it is. if they can pull their heads out of their asses, great--we'll have a happy home birth with a midwife i love. there you have it.

footnote:
my tarot year puts me at The Devil here in taurus. i just did a little reading up on him, since it's been a while, and as always i am wryly amused at my own fussing now that i see the current situation from the perspective it's been placed in for me. the devil is all about realizing you have the power to overcome your fears and integrating your shadow self... and here i am, seeing demons and enemies all about me, and screaming that they can't get me, when really what i should be doing is wondering why i feel threatened by those who have no power over me. what are they showing me about myself that is so scary?

maybe the deep-rooted self-doubt that fears i can't do it--that birth won't ever work for me the way i so hope it will. that i need help from a doctor or a drug or i will fail again. that's what i need to be addressing, not some dumbass doctor or paranoid midwife's opinions. thanks, devil.

caution: pregnancy may be hazardous to your liberty

i don't really know what to say about this, it is so bafflingly appalling and just WRONG... who the f*ck are these people making these laws? do they have primate brains or are they sea slugs in human form?

oh sure, people have rights in america. it's just that pregnant women aren't people... but their fetuses are.

* * *

(full text from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lynn-m-paltrow/caution-pregnancy-may-be-_b_483131.html?ref=fb)

Caution: Pregnancy May Be Hazardous to Your Liberty

Lynn M. Paltrow and Farah Diaz-Tello

While our country stands at a deadlock over legislation to ensure that millions of uninsured people have health care coverage, we can at least feel confident that some state legislators are hard at work, making it more difficult for women to access health care and much easier for states to put them, and the people who help them, in jail.

In Mississippi, legislators proposed a law, HB 695, which would make many forms of midwifery a crime. That is clearly bad for pregnant women and for babies for at least one very simple reason. As the White Ribbon Alliance for Safe Motherhood pointed out after Hurricane Katrina, when hospitals shut down as a result of a disaster, midwives are among the few who know how to deliver babies without electronic fetal monitors, surgical theatres or epidurals. For this reason, the Alliance highlighted the need to protect (not criminalize) midwives who have the skills needed under such circumstances.

When disasters hit, however, it is not only the women who are going to term who are in trouble. As the National Network of Abortion Funds found out after Hurricane Katrina forced abortion providers to close their doors, many women were also left without access to urgently needed abortion services.

If Utah lawmakers have their way, a woman under similar circumstances who attempts to take matters into her own hands could be charged with murder under House Bill 12, the state's effort to outlaw "self-abortions."

Right-to-life organizations have long maintained that if abortion were outlawed, only doctors who performed the abortions would go to jail. But Utah's proposed law ensures that women themselves, and not just those who help them, will be incarcerated for a minimum of 15 years. (Since 61 percent of women who have abortions are already mothers, a woman convicted under this law would, with any luck, be out of jail in time to see her son or daughter graduate from high school.)

Even without such a law, police officers in Iowa recently arrested a woman in her second trimester of pregnancy for the crime of attempted feticide after she tripped and fell down a flight of stairs [emphasis mine]. The county attorney's office dropped the case only after they decided that their unprecedented interpretation of the feticide law should only be applied to pregnant women in their third trimester. But in Utah, the law would expressly apply to pregnant women at all stages of pregnancy. So, if you are pregnant and clumsy in Utah, you could be charged with attempted murder, even in the first trimester.

As a sign-on petition opposing the Utah bill points out, pretty much any woman who suffers a miscarriage or stillbirth and is engaged in an activity that she "should have reason to know" would endanger her fetus can now be charged with murder or attempted murder.

Suffer a pregnancy loss after a car accident you may have caused? Murder. Follow your doctor's advice to treat your cancer despite the risks it might pose to your unborn child? Attempted murder.

Bizarrely, the Utah law has an exemption that protects women who "fail to follow medical advice," but nothing in the law protects women who do follow medical advice. Thus women who disagree with a doctor's advice to have cesarean surgery can't be prosecuted, but a woman who takes prescription medications that may risk harm to an unborn child could end up behind bars.

Meanwhile, in Kentucky, House Bill 136 would create a new crime just for pregnant women. According to this law, "[a] woman is guilty of substance endangerment of a child prior to birth when, knowing she is pregnant, she causes her child to be born" with controlled substances or alcohol in the child's bodily fluids. What that means is that, if this law is passed, it would literally be a crime for a pregnant woman to give birth if the child she gives birth to has any amount of a controlled substance or alcohol in its body.

It is well known that laws which threaten to punish women who carry their pregnancies to term in spite of a drug or alcohol problem place substantial pressure on women to have unwanted abortions. This is because it is hard for people to overcome an addiction quickly (just ask Rush Limbaugh). For pregnant women who face many barriers to treatment, there is no guarantee that they will be cured quickly enough to be sure they won't be arrested if they go to term. Such laws are also known to deter women from care, increasing the risks to maternal, fetal and child health. It would be nice to think that Kentucky legislators did not mean to make it a crime for some woman to cause their children "to be born," but the fact that this law has been proposed over the objections of every leading health group makes us wonder.

And finally, we wonder about Nebraska's commitment to protecting fetuses from pain. Nebraska House Bill 1103 would protect some fetuses from pain by banning virtually all women from obtaining abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy. Although abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy are extremely rare (constituting only 1.5 percent of all abortions), and the doctors who perform them are heroes to the women who need such procedures, this law would make those doctors criminals.

The Nebraska legislators who support this bill claim that after 20 weeks of pregnancy an unborn child is capable of experiencing substantial pain. Certainly, if this is true, then fetuses must also suffer pain from forceps deliveries, internal electronic fetal monitoring (requiring the insertion of sharp metal wires into the delicate fetal scalp) and from chemically induced labor in which the fetus is subjected to repeated, violent maternal uterine contractions and then forced through the narrow vaginal canal. If Nebraska legislators were truly committed to preventing fetal pain, then they should also ban pitocin-induced vaginal births and other fetal-pain inducing delivery techniques and arrest the doctors who carry them out.

The lawmakers supporting these bills claim that they are trying to bar bad things from happening to pregnant women and the unborn. But whatever their stated good intentions, make no mistake, these bills are really about putting pregnant women and the people who support them behind bars.

vaccine links (a work in progress)

with everything in a huff over H1N1* and with rowan being "of age" for vaccines, they have been on my mind a lot lately. needless to say, we will not be taking any flu shots of ANY kind this year, or ever. but i digress; i do not want to rant or seem like the crackhead i may well be, in this post at least. ha.

i'm keeping a running list on sites where we can find info on vaccines from both sides of the story.

i'll put the newest on top, and barring a change of heart later, will not organize them otherwise.

vaccines' dark inferno: what isn't on the insert label

swine flu vaccine may be linked to neurological disorder

whale.to, vaccination **

the vaccine page (balanced, both sides info available)

informed choice (ingredients)

national vaccine information center

CDC, vaccine safety

institute of vaccine safety

vaccination liberation information (ingredients)

national vaccine injury compensation program

the polio vaccine: a critical assessment of its arcane history, efficacy, and long-term health-related consequences


*yes, naturally i think there is MUCH more to this story than "oops, the pigs somehow got bird flu and now it jumped to humans!" much more. start here, and then ask yourself how the hell they can carry out safety studies in august for a vaccine they will be able to mass produce and distribute worldwide by october... and why there are urban military exercises being carried out in cities all across the US, and why the pentagon is trying so hard to get permission to activate branches of the military "in case of an emergency...?" imagine this highly improbable, but not impossible, scenario: first, whip the population into a frenzy of fear over a very common illness with so many strains that are indistinguishable outside of laboratory confirmation, so everyone with a sniffle fears for their life. next, and this is the easy part--convince them it was a natural mutation of the common virus. then swoop in and assure them that you have it under control and the corps are "working around the clock" to produce a vaccine for this "natural" illness, and promise to have it ready just in time to save them (nevermind that anyone with half a brain would realize you cannot react to a natural virus mutation that quickly). in reality, you already have the "vaccine" waiting, with a small percentage of doses containing live, infectious virus. next, administer the shots to the wiling and eager, and watch the 'pandemic' finally live up to its name--and since you've been acting like it was already a real problem, the sheep are primed to expect it and will not question the rapid spread or wonder about the timing--infecting more people to the point that the vaccines are now declared mandatory. in comes martial law, forced inoculation (or infection, if you are an unlucky one), and the virus continues to spread.

obviously the goal here is population control, no question. why? any number of reasons. but i'm not evil, so i'm not privy to their logic, i just follow the path of my own when i see things looking fishy.

or maybe i'm just paranoid. but that doesn't mean they're not after me (or you).

**whale.to has a lot of really great info on health-related stuff. fascinating reading in most cases.

baby formula: now with added perchlorate!

remember this? how many incidents does it take within a given time period before people will come to their senses about trusting corporate anything??? explosives chemical found in formula from companies that own 87% of market share.

argh. i share this not to judge--really, i feel for you if you can't/won't breastfeed, i've seen enough to know it can be extremely difficult for some people--but PLEASE do not use the standard store-bought formulas. you are not being told the truth; not by the labels, not by the FDA, and not by your doctor. there is a real PC culture of "let's not offend anybody" that tries very hard to say formula is just as good as breastmilk but the research all shows it's not. (yes, i quote from wiki, because it sums up well--you can and should do additional research if you really want to seek the truth.) your breastmilk was made for your baby, and nobody else. we have a magical chemistry that creates the ideal food for the baby grown in our own body. formula companies can't even approximate "generic" breastmilk; what makes you think they can copy YOURS?

so, if you can't pump your own and bottle-feed it, you should know there are alternatives. just because enfamil sends you free samples and similac was recommended by your doctor does not mean they are your best options if you aren't able to breastfeed. always remember, for doctors and hospitals and pharm companies, babies=goldmine. it's a sick reality that we all need to keep in mind. without births to support their income, hospitals would be a lot less lucrative a business; something like 60% of the average hospital revenue is directly related to labor and delivery.

anyway. i can't just stand by and watch the future of humanity be genetically degraded (i.e. poisoned formula) due to ignorance and misinformation... i say all of this, everything in this blog, out of love and compassion and a desire for betterment in all of us. inform yourself!

medicated children

this may inflame someone, so here is another disclaimer, written in some slight annoyance at having to write it at all. yes, there are always cases where people are better off for having psych meds. i know this. i'm not talking about those cases. i'm talking about everybody else...

*sigh* let's start from the top:

via cryptogon:
Is there something more at work here besides chasing profits? The diabolical nature of this seems to go beyond the usual chasing profits explanation.

This has an inky black, low murmuring evil feel to it. Echoes of Dr. Mengele.

Also, pay attention to the “food” that these people are ingesting, and the physical appearance of the mothers. Holy crap. Have another breakfast stick, now with even more obesity and diabetes. Toxic waste for food and strong antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilizers. This is the breakfast of champions for millions of American children, some as young as two.

Via: PBS Frontline:

In recent years, there’s been a dramatic increase in the number of children being diagnosed with serious psychiatric disorders and prescribed medications that are just beginning to be tested in children. The drugs can cause serious side effects, and virtually nothing is known about their long-term impact. “It’s really to some extent an experiment, trying medications in these children of this age,” child psychiatrist Dr. Patrick Bacon tells FRONTLINE. “It’s a gamble. And I tell parents there’s no way to know what’s going to work.”

as of january 2008 PBS had enough material--and there was enough controversy--to make a documentary questioning the wisdom of using UNTESTED psych meds on children diagnosed with very vague and broad-spectrum symptoms of various psychiatric disorders. the video is disturbing... poor kids are damaged permanently from the side effects of these drugs before they even have a fighting chance to develop normally and outgrow their "issues."

for me, the first thing i would ask myself if my child seemed really wacked would be, "what am i doing that could be causing this behavior? is she fed healthy foods? is she getting enough sleep? enough social interaction? enough love and affection?" and finally, "am i stressed out?"

children are NOT adults. they react very differently to stresses than adults do--they haven't learned to "cope" by stuffing their feelings inside. they express. everything. and sometimes maybe their bodies induce emotional reactions when physical needs are not being properly met (i.e., you feed them nothing but processed pHoods and after a year or so they start having temper tantrums every day).

fundamental problem #1: we are treating them for things they may not have because we do not bother to look into alternative explanations. we fail to adequately research the cause and effect cycle of ALL things we take for granted in modern life.

and now this, via msnbc (just the best parts here):

Panel: All teens should be tested for depression
2 million in U.S. are affected but most are undiagnosed, task force says
...
The task force said that when followed by treatment, including psychotherapy, screening can help improve symptoms and help kids cope. Because depression can lead to persistent sadness, social isolation, school problems and even suicide, screening to treat it early is crucial, the panel said.
...

Yet at the same time psychiatrists specializing in treating children and teens are scarce. A separate report, also released Monday in the Pediatrics journal, says primary care doctors including pediatricians and family physicians will need to get more involved in mental health care.

...

Most pediatricians aren't trained to do psychotherapy, but they can prescribe depression medication and monitor patients they've referred to others for therapy, he said.

holy f*&^. did we completely FORGET that teenagerdom is characterized by some amounts of depression/anxiety/stress which naturally accompany the vast physical, mental, and emotional changes going on during that period of our normal human development? what just happened here? but nevermind that, let's move on.

fundamental problem #2: if you need a questionnaire at the pediatricians office to tell you your kid is sad, isolated, failing school, and doing drugs, YOU FAIL as a parent. period. where is the responsibility of the parents to observe and interact with their children, that something like this even needs to be suggested?!

fundamental problem #3: we need to screen EVERYONE because 6% of a sub-population may be affected. that is what you call a massive waste of resources. but, in fact, since the goal here is nothing grander than to boost profits for drug companies selling psych meds (see #4), it will perfectly do its job--so many "undiagnosed" cases will come to light, and all good parents give their kids meds when dr. concerned says they should. on a related note, maybe if we had an insanely high teenage suicide rate--i.e., if the entire 6% of the undiagnosed kids were offing themselves for lack of treatment--MAYBE this testing would be justified. but since apparently the majority of these kids move on to be typical adults, what is the issue?

fundamental problem #4: re-read the last two paragraphs in the quote above. now think for a second. there aren't enough psychiatrists trained to deal with kids, so pediatricians will have to fill in the gaps AND/BUT all they can do is prescribe medication, not provide counseling. ah ha! now i get it. (nevermind the big problem with docs prescribing meds for conditions they *admittedly* are not trained to deal with.) it's all about the profits. you heard it straight from MSNBC!

i won't call this one "fundamental," but i also have to wonder where they got the number of "undiagnosed" depression cases from? if they are undiagnosed, how the hell do they know how many there are? wtf?

i don't know... to me, the very idea of chemically altering a child's brain--which is in a constant state of flux and adaptation to the world, developing structures and learning connections and whatnot--is Evil. truly Evil. it can do nothing but harm, and i don't care what anyone says to the contrary. yes, i would rather put up with screaming fits for 2 years than know that i am irreversibly damaging my child's development--and entire life, as a result--so that i can have a little peace and quiet.

why is it that we didn't see this kind of behavior in kids 15, 20, 30 years ago? my list of hypotheses goes like this:
- routine, excessive vaccinations of vulnerable infants
- pHood (i.e., products so detached from the original substance that used to be food, that they are chemically unrecognizable; i.e., basically everything from a box, can, or plastic package)
- high-fructose corn syrup
- fluoridated/chlorinated water supplies
- overuse of any/all medications
- environmental pollutants (mostly the indoor kind, from cleaning products, cosmetics, etc, but perhaps also the more widespread type as well)
- and equally important, bad parenting. yes, i blame the parents in many cases. kids need to be shown BY EXAMPLE how to live effectively in the world. when you model disaffectation, stress, egoism, and apathy, that is what they learn. i think our entire society has suffered as a result of the 2-working parent system which shoves our younglings off to what amounts to foster care for the bulk of their developing years. it's worse than anybody wants to admit, in my opinion... and i know many families have 'no choice' and i can sympathize with that to an extent. because really, there is always a choice. you can always make sacrifices. the question is, is it worth it to you?

in my world, we wouldn't need Supernanny because we would have communication and interaction on a level that makes sense for the child. we'd have time for them. sometimes i wonder if our parents didn't fail us... it was by their example that we learned to be parents, and so many of us are really terrible at it. was it just the 70s/80s/90s mentality that materialism is the ultimate goal that ruined everything? because that was so important to our parents, and we (i say "we" loosely here*) were left in daycare and fed convenience foods since they knew no better... and it left us without a model for good parenting? because most of us can say for sure that our parents were raised very differently than we were. i think the break came as they took their roles and parents and forgot what their own parents had taught them... they were too distracted by material acquisition and "doing better for [our] sakes." only it ended up producing a generation of ineffective, depressed, and gullible people who want somebody else to fix their problems. just a thought.

back to the point; my dear friend at cryptogon would say this program of screening and medicating children on a massive scale has more to do with long-term population control (through submission) and social engineering than anything else--as he mentions, and i mentioned, profits are a big factor, but there really does seem to be something else going on. Evil. why do we push so hard to ruin the future (our childrens' brains)? or better yet, why do we let THEM tell us we should?! why do they want to?

who benefits from this? certainly not the children...


*for the record, my parents were awesome. i never went to forced daycare, my mom was lucky enough to work at home and be there for us 24/7, they fed us real food and taught us how to be respectful people with integrity and self-confidence. and practical frugality. sadly, however, i think they are not the norm. i truly hope to be as good with my kids as they were with us.

vaccines

i really don't want to write a ranting post about vaccines--i rant enough!--but nonetheless i feel it is my duty as a compassionate human being to at least offer some information as a starting point so that others can take a step toward researching things on their own.

whatever anybody decides is their own business and i support you in your informed choices... but not to question and seek answers before making a decision about something concerning your child's health is just foolish. so please, if you have babies, do your research... googling "vaccine safety" is a good place to start; you will see both sides of the issue distributed pretty equally. (yes, there are TWO sides and it is an issue!)

and fyi, even if you really believe in the benefits of vaccines and know you want your child to have all or some of them, you should know you have EVERY RIGHT to delay them as long as you choose. the longer your baby has to develop its immune system before being pummeled by dead viruses and bacteria, the better chances of a safe outcome. even just spacing them out so that baby only gets one at a time can have a massively beneficial effect. and just because you allow one doesn't mean you have to allow all of them; you have the right to choose.

my stance on this, if you haven't guessed already, is strongly anti-vaccination. for those who feel the same way that i do, you should know that you have EVERY RIGHT to refuse all or some of the scheduled vaccinations for any reason you like. you will be told your child 'cannot enter public school' without them; this is a LIE. here in florida you have to fill out a form declaring your objections, but you can object and they cannot bar your child(ren) from school... though the counties will in most cases reserve the right to make them stay home in the case of an outbreak of this or that (which is likely for the best anyway). it does not make you a bad parent for refusing vaccinations; that is the heart of the "informed consent" doctrine which all citizens are entitled to.

you are entitled to know the risks of BOTH doing and not doing something, and to choose based on that information. the reality that doctors fail 99% of the time in truly informing us is why we must inform ourselves. what so many people don't understand about medicine is that it is almost always a gamble either way... whether you accept OR refuse any particular treatment or procedure, there are risks--they just differ. sometimes the cure is worse than the disease.

and as a last note on the subject: if you are considering gardasil, p l e a s e research it thoroughly before going through with it! it hasn't even truly been tested rigorously, and is NOT approved for use in very young girls despite the widespread advertisement to the contrary. nor has it even been scientifically proven that HPV has a causal relationship with cervical cancer (correlation: yes, causation: no).

do your homework. in all things: "think for yourself. question authority." -timothy leary

edit 3/12/09:
i realized it was time to start accumulating any legally-necessary forms relating to vaccines and newborn care, should i end up in the hospital (birth plans are not enough). so i spent some time here and found what i was looking for, but the best thing i have ever seen in relation to vaccines and doctors and informed consent is this whammy response to a pushy doc. YOWZA! it's basically a total reversal of "informed consent" waiver forms... in this one, rather than YOU signing something saying "i understand the risks of not doing this blah blah" you are demanding that the doctor sign a form saying "i swear this is safe and i assume responsibility if it isn't." because--i hope you know this--it is within most state statutes that docs, pharm companies, school boards, etc, are all exempt from being held responsible if your child suffers from the administration of their "safe, FDA-approved" drugs. it's your problem if little johnny is autistic thanks to his DTaP shot. if it's really bad, maybe you will get lucky enough to settle with the 'no-fault' vaccine injury compensation program, though...

anyway, here i am ranting again when i said i didn't want to! ok ok one last tidbit: do you know how many vaccines contain aborted fetal tissue (not to mention the other scary sh*t they put in them)? what is, say, a catholic who opposes abortion to do about that? claim it's for the greater good and move on? *ponders* genesis 9 and leviticus 17 talk pretty extensively about not taking "blood" (ie, life) from other beings, and i can't find the quote about not mixing animal and human blood right now, but it's in there.

ok i'm done, really.









questioning and frustration

i have been hesitant to state this "out loud" though i have been quietly discussing it with one or two people, but it's time to get it off my chest...

i'm thinking of leaving the birth center.

it's a great place, don't get me wrong--for most women wanting a natural birth it is the perfect mix of a reassuring, low-tech-but-efficient setup with all the benefits of being at home in a private, quiet space. the midwives are lovely. everyone is courteous and concerned without being overbearing or authoritative.

but i find more and more that i seem to be a "special case," and it's not fitting me. maybe i am a birth extremist (probably). maybe i am overconfident (possibly). but it just doesn't feel right anymore.

my reasons are thus:

1) i am now completely sure that they will attempt to "manage" my labor in many more ways than i am willing to accept. doppler "at least" every 5 minutes during pushing. blood pressure/pulse checks "at least" every 5 minutes during pushing. cervical checks at indeterminate intervals (she didn't answer my questions thoroughly today). these are things i know i am not OK with--i want to be left alone to labor on my own, especially during pushing! if i want help, i will ask for it, and if something is wrong, i will know it. that's all i ask, and it's more than they can give me.

2) i do not have any say in who will be attending for the birth--whoever is on call gets the job. one midwife, one assistant, not my choice.

3) i have only felt a genuine connection with one of the midwives there (possibly two, but less so with the second), and i only saw her once! the other few i either do not particularly like or have not interacted with. this is a problem! i have no interest whatsoever in having a stranger participate in the birth of my daughter. none. no way. i'm being stubborn enough about FAMILY being present for it; the last thing i want is some jackass midwife i haven't said 2 paragraphs to prodding me up the wahoo. this may seem trivial but it really isn't. and of course i know they are all caring, practiced, gentle women who will do their best to make me comfortable and happy, but the bottom line is they are still strangers. i don't want anyone i haven't developed a relationship with at this birth. i guess i was under the impression that through the 30 weeks of care at the BC i would have had the chance to establish rapport with everyone... but that just isn't the case. a woman, however caring she may be, who doesn't know me will inevitably treat me like "just another patient" and i will resent every moment of what should otherwise be the best day of my life.

4) i spoke with someone here at work who had their first baby at the BC and decided to go with NFRMC midwives for the second. he said his wife is like me (super-anti-intervention) and yet they felt that the hospital setting with these women would be better than their experience at the BC; he said the birth was fine and everything, but they felt sort of abandoned afterwards and his wife was unhappy with not knowing the midwife closely... choosing a hospital over a birth center, for someone like me, is insane. she must have really disliked something about her birth that he doesn't fully understand. that worries me.

all of these things are eating away at my comfort level with the BC. today i had my 30 week checkup and everything was ok (i'm "a little bit" anemic) but--adding to a slight pressure i felt regarding my questioning of rhogam last time*--i had a nearly-uncomfortable conversation with the mw about the waiver i signed for the glucose test. i SIGNED AN INFORMED CONSENT REFUSAL last time i was there, and yet she still brought it up and attempted to encourage (read: coerce) me into reconsidering via scare tactics. wtf? i signed the form, leave me alone. she wanted to know why i refused it and then proceeded to tell me that i could easily have gestational diabetes and never know it, and it could lead to problems... so she wanted me to sign another refusal form (why?!) stating that i had been informed of the risks of not having the test. well, that pissed me off, so i shot back with the only ammo i had and said "well i haven't been informed of the specific risks to the baby" and didn't sign until she told me; i already knew from my own research, but that's not the point. what she failed to mention, however, are the actual incidences of that kind of complications. plenty of scary possibilities, no hard numbers. i had to fight tears of anger at her putting me in the position of needing to defend my perfectly legal and acceptable decision, and that made me really frustrated.

i've said this a million times: i trust my body. why can't they accept that and let me make my own decisions?

i mean, for example, i bet if they tested my vitamin d levels they would freak out--i KNOW i am lacking it, because i've been quite literally craving sunlight exposure for months. i want to lay out in the sun and go to the beach every day its not cloudy out. i want to be naked in the blazing sun all the time (me, with the pale skin and light-blind eyes). but they don't test for that because the medical community hasn't got around to identifying it as a "risk factor" for this or that condition. even though vitamin d is a critical nutrient. so... what i am saying is that the things they DO worry about are sort of arbitrary anyway. really.

back to the point of this post: tomorrow i have a meeting with the "other" group of homebirth midwives in gainesville, the midwive's cooperative. i know a whole lot of people who have used them and not a one ever uttered a syllable of regret. in fact, one came close to wishing the midwife had done more at the birth instead of leaving her to do it herself. that's my kind of care, lol! so i will see what they have to say, sort out the logistics if necessary, and then talk to matt. these women appeal to me not only because they are so highly recommended, but also because it's up to the mother who attends her birth, and the chosen two will be the ONLY ones attending. no "well x is on call right now..."

i will go and meet them, and if it is love-at-first-words i will be switching. and having a homebirth, apparently. if not, i will stick it out with the birth center and see what i can do to labor at home until the last possible moment.

i'm just sick of feeling like i have to justify my decisions all the time. i am not an idiot and i'm not deliberately being difficult, but i FEEL like i am when i am questioned by people who's business it is none of. (there's a revealing statement--why do i feel like it's "none of their business"?? they are my midwives, after all. but that is how i feel.)

/end rant

*yeah, last time was the rhogam conversation. a midwife whom i do like had a blunt, but not quite aggressive, conversation with me about my indecision regarding taking the shot. she was truthful and not just trying to scare me, but it was clear we disagreed... i presented her with the research i had done, and the numbers, and yet she still seemed to think maybe i didn't understand what a wonderful life-saver it was. she obviously loves rhogam based on the things she was saying, and that's fine--we all have our biases. but it still made me uncomfortable. she's right, it is "gambling," but it's not for no reason. it's a gamble either way which is what they never want you to think about. and, as a parallel between rhogam and vaccines, she made a nearly-disparaging comment about the fact that her assistant that day "refuses to vaccinate her children," which kind of irked me. something about how that's fine nowadays because everyone else is vaccinated...

anyway today when the question of rhogam came up with a different midwife, i was presented with a totally different point of view. this one seemed to think it was no big deal whether i got the shot and assured me i would know if my blood mixed with the baby's (via trauma). the last chick specifically said, "most of the time if that happens you don't know it." wtf? can i get some consistency here? needless to say, i remain without it, non-sensitized to Rh+, and will wait until matt's blood test is done before i take any action.

rowan has been doing kung-fu acrobatics all day long!

new link in the list: NOHARMM.org

i noticed i never wrote that post on circumcision that i was planning on. i guess now is as good a time as any (odd since i'm having a girl, but whatever).

as a non-disclaiming disclaimer: i am not going to pad my words in this post. this is what i really think, and it's a subject about which i have spent a lot of time thinking, and i feel very strongly about it. i'm going to say what i want to say, and without intending to offend anyone, i'm sure i will. i'm sorry about that--i promise i am not judging YOU or your personal decisions, i am only sharing MY feelings on the matter. on a similar note: i STRONGLY believe in parental rights, so alas, it is the parents' choice what to do with their helpless offspring; one hopes the parents have enough compassion to be open to the best interests of the child, but if not, it is their right to decide nonetheless. i do not believe in any state or federal intervention between parents and children unless abuse is apparent (the legal definition of "abuse" then becomes the problem, but that is a whole other issue that doesn't need to mix itself up in here).

so off we go... on circumcision.

"...an intact body is a universal human right." NOHARMM.org

opening question: would you circumcise your daughter? then why your son? it. is. the. same. thing.

we take a perfectly healthy infant and remove a functioning part of his body. a part that he would--by all accounts--be better off for having, both physically and emotionally.

first of all, WHY?
historically, we are told the reasons for circumcision are basically hygienic. we have been taught that uncircumcised penises are dirty, dangerous, and difficult to care for. medical research shows that none of the above are true; the most common problem with intact foreskin later in life is "phimosis," which affects 2% of intact males, on average, and can be treated almost 99% of the time without surgery. so the fear that "it will have to be done later anyway" is medically unfounded. the idea that uncircumcised men spread STDs more easily has also been disproven. as for difficult to care for--please. even if it were true, which it isn't, are we now using laziness as a good reason to perform unnecessary surgeries on infants?

in fact, almost all circumcisions are performed for religious or cultural reasons; i.e., conformity of the child to the "norm" to which the parents are accustomed. i can't find the link now but i read (many times in various places) that women who were polled and said they were more likely to circumcise their sons admitted it was because of THEIR OWN SEXUAL PREFERENCE. part of the poll was also to ask whether they had been with an intact male or not--those who had were less likely to have their sons circumcised. that's what you call fear of the unknown; thus, the "cultural" reasons for most circumcisions. it's bad enough that most are done out of ignorance--the idea that women are molding their sons' bodies based on their own sexual ideology borders on twisted. what right would a father have to give his daughter breast implants because it was HIS preference in women?

in the 1800s and 1900s circumcision was performed (almost exclusively) as a means to curb the prevalence of masturbation in children. yes, the reason most men in the US are mutilated is because of the victorian mass-hysteria and fear of sexuality which literally altered the perceptions of the medical community through the 1920s and on.
Dr. E.J. Spratling, who promoted this surgery by telling his colleagues that "...circumcision is undoubtedly the physician's closest friend and ally..." prescribed in 1895 the method of circumcision as it is practiced in hospitals today.

"To obtain the best results one must cut away enough skin and mucous membrane to rather put it on the stretch when erections come later. There must be no play in the skin after the wound has thoroughly healed, but it must fit tightly over the penis, for should there be any play the patient will be found to readily resume his practice not begrudging the time and extra energy required to produce the orgasm... We may not be sure that we have done away with the possibility of masturbation, but we may feel confident that we have limited it to within the danger lines."
(E.J. Spratling, MD. Medical Record, Masturbation in the Adult, vol. 48, no. 13, September 28, 1895, pp. 442-443.)
doesn't that make you feel good? today's medical practice is informed by a bunch of erotophobes with the misperception that masturbation made people sick and degenerate. mutilation of the body was considered an appropriate response to "dangerous" (natural human) behavior. and here's a telling gem:
"A remedy for masturbation which is almost always successful in small boys is circumcision. The operation should be performed by a surgeon without administering an anesthetic, as the brief pain attending the operation will have a salutary effect upon the mind, especially if it be connected with the idea of punishment. In females, the author has found the application of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris an excellent means of allaying the abnormal excitement."
(John Harvey Kellogg, M.D., "Treatment for Self-Abuse and its Effects," Plain Fact for Old and Young. Burlington, Iowa: F. Segner & Co. (1888). P. 295) [yes, like kellogg's cereal. that's him.]
so the POINT is for it to be painful and traumatic, in order to create lasting associations between sexuality and pain, with pleasure as a bad, scary, and ultimately traumatic experience. you are bad for wanting that, and you will be punished. if you have been circumcised, the punishment is lifelong. (by the way, carbolic acid is phenol, the numbing agent in chloraseptic spray. why numb the girls and mutilate the boys? it doesn't make sense...)

the american association of pediatrics has stated as of 1999:
"Existing scientific evidence demonstrates potential medical benefits of newborn male circumcision; however, these data are not sufficient to recommend routine neonatal circumcision [emphasis mine]. In circumstances in which there are potential benefits and risks, yet the procedure is not essential to the child's current well-being, parents should determine what is in the best interest of the child. To make an informed choice, parents of all male infants should be given accurate and unbiased information and be provided the opportunity to discuss this decision."
when you have babies, if you haven't already, let me know if you are presented with "accurate and unbiased information" (or any information whatsoever) on circumcision before they ask you on delivery day what you want to do. if they ask at all.

some physical consequences of circumcision, or What Is Lost
1. The frenar band of soft ridges--the single most pleasure producing zone on the male body. Loss of this densely innervated and reactive belt of tissue reduces the sensitivity of the remaining penis to about that of ordinary skin.

2. Approximately half of the temperature reactive smooth muscle sheath called the dartos fascia.

3. Specialized epithelial Langerhans cells, a component of the immune system.

4. An estimated 240 feet of microscopic nerves, including branches of the dorsal nerve.

5. Between 10,000 to 20,000 specialized erotogenic nerve endings of several types, which can discern slight motion, subtle changes in temperature, and fine gradations in texture. This loss includes thousands of coiled fine-touch receptors called the Meissner's corpuscles - the most important sensory component in the foreskin.

6. Estrogen receptors the purpose and value of which are not yet fully understood.

7. More than 50% of the mobile penile skin, the multi-purpose covering of the glans, that shields all of the specialized penile skin from abrasion, drying, and callusing (by keratin cell layering), and protects it from dirt and other contaminants. The debilitating sexual consequences of keratinizing the glans have never been studied. [this is when the head of the penis becomes more callous--less sensitive--over time in reaction to constant exposure and stimulus with clothing]

8. The immunological defense system of the soft mucosa, which may produce antibacterial and antiviral proteins such as lysozyme, also found in mothers milk, and plasma cells, which secrete immunoglobulin antibodies.

9. Lymphatic vessels, the loss of which interrupts the lymph flow within a part of the body's immune system.

10. The frenulum, the very sensitive "V" shaped web-like tethering structure on the underside of the glans; usually amputated along with the foreskin, or severed, which destroys its functionality.

11. The apocrine glands of the inner foreskin, which produce pheromones—nature's powerful, silent, invisible behavioral signals to potential sexual partners. They contribute significantly to sexuality. Their loss is unstudied.

12. Ectopic sebaceous glands, which lubricate and moisturize.

13. The essential "gliding" mechanism. If unfolded and spread out flat, the average adult foreskin measures about 15 square inches, the size of a postcard. This abundance of specialized, self-lubricating mobile skin gives the natural penis its unique hallmark ability to smoothly "glide" in and out within itself—permitting natural non-abrasive masturbation and intercourse, without drying out the vagina or requiring artificial lubricants.

14. The pink to red to dark purple natural coloration of the glans, normally an internal organ, like the tongue.

15. A significant amount of the penis circumference because its double layered wrapping of loose foreskin is now missing making the circumcised penis defectively thinner than a full-sized intact penis.

16. As much as one inch of the erect penis length due to amputation when the connective tissue is torn apart during "circumcision." This shared membrane tightly fuses the foreskin and the glans together while the penis develops. Ripping it apart wounds the glans, leaving it raw and subject to infection, scarring, and shrinkage.

17. Several feet of blood vessels, including the frenular artery and branches of the dorsal artery. The loss of this dense vascularity interrupts normal blood flow to the shaft and glans of the penis, obviously damaging its natural function and possibly stunting its complete and healthy development.

18. Every year boys lose their penises altogether from botched "circumcisions" and infections accidents happen. They are then "sexually reassigned" by transgender surgery and must live their lives as females.

19. Every year many boys lose their lives from the complications of medically unnecessary circumcisions. The cause of these deaths are a fact the billion dollar per year circumcision industry willfully obscures and conceals.

20. Although not yet proved scientifically, there is considerable new evidence that an incomplete penis loses its capacity for the subtle electromagnetic "cross-communication" that occurs only during contact between two mucous membranes, and which contributes to the perception of sexual ecstasy. In other words, medically unjustified foreskin amputation of boys ultimately diminishes the intensity of orgasms for both men and women!
"The fundamental biological sex act becomes, for the circumcised male,
simply satisfaction of an urge and not the refined sensory experience
that it was meant to be."
Falliers, C.J. Circumcision. Journal of the American Medical Assn., vol. 214, 1970, pp. 2194-2195
(i don't know about you, but i mourn for our men. it makes me SO SAD to think what they have lost--and what we have lost through their loss--and can never get back. deep down i feel this is truly an explanation for much of the difference between men and women's expressions of sexuality. circumcised men have no choice but to be rougher, less sensual, and more to-the-point... their equipment is irreparably damaged and dulled, ON PURPOSE. removing the most sensual part of someone's body is unforgivable and at least equivalent to the rape of a virgin... the most intimate thing, both in concept (as pleasure) and material (as flesh), stolen before he even knows what it is or what it means; and he will never get it back. there is no justification for that in my eyes.)

i cannot even begin to address #18. it is true--look it up yourself.

a few other issues to consider
so. there is no proven medical reason to circumcise babies routinely. and just knowing what it does to them physically, there should be no religious or cultural reason good enough to override that.

for a long time (and even still, sometimes) doctors told parents "babies don't feel pain" because their memories are not developed enough. i'm sure that would make me feel better, watching my newborn son screaming--and in some cases they stop breathing from shock--and betting on the fact that it's ok because 'he won't remember it.' except i know already that my still-womb-bound daughter recognizes my voice, so she must have a memory, mustn't she? mothers report a loss of bonding attachment and difficulty breastfeeding after circumcision (still searching for that link), and if we think for a moment from the infant's perspective, even if it is a purely emotional one: your mother, your world, has failed to protect you in the most basic way. your body has been violated and mutilated. you are in pain; you are no longer whole. would you continue to trust mother to protect you any longer? would you trust anyone ever again? perhaps this is why so many men harbor unconscious rage towards their mothers... as Marilyn Milos, Founder and Director of NOCIRC says, "Circumcision is where sex and violence meet for the first time."

maybe your son will come to resent the decision you made for him when he was a helpless child (assuming he is even aware of it). according to a 1996 study, "among the 46% of men circumcised in infancy with a definite opinion about their genital condition, the ratio of happy to unhappy men was 50:50. The ratio of men happy to be intact versus those who were unhappily intact was 31:1 (97% vs. 3%). The lowest satisfaction rate was observed in those circumcised in infancy."
"I'm left with a sense of impotence and powerlessness and a fear
about the power of others to hurt me grievously." NY/1930
i hope people bother to wonder what men think about their circumcisions before doing it to their own babies.

by the way i didn't really go into the many (many) ways that a circumcision can be botched, permanently scarring the man in minor to major ways--plenty of which he might never realize are the result of the procedure, and not a "natural defect" in his body. here is a site with photos and links to more.

conclusion
if you go through the links i put in this text you will find a universe of information from doctors, lawyers, researchers, men, and even women on both sides of the fence. do what you have to do, but do it with a fully informed conscience so that if you are ever asked by your child, "why did you do that to me?" you can answer with more than, "uhh..." seriously. we are talking about amputation, after all.

for me the only truly important question is, "whose body is it?"

and then suddenly a bit of timeless wisdom from my grandmother's refrigerator pops into my head:

if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

book review: the womanly art of breastfeeding

10:35 AM by rhiannon 1 comments
*sigh*

i'm sorry, i don't like this book. i got 10 minutes into browsing through it and was bored and frankly put-off by the almost-creepy "breastfeeding is the holiest of holies" attitude just barely hidden under the surface.

i have said before i have NO intention of using formula or bottles for any of my future children, but that doesn't mean i have to secretly worship lactation or spread the divine word of the breast in my free time. and of course, i appreciate all la leche league does in the world, they are educators and counselors and support for millions of women and that shouldn't be discounted... but let up a little. i felt like i was reading propaganda.

i do believe in "too much of a good thing" so maybe that is where this attitude of mine stems from, or maybe i have been a little bit influenced by pop media myself, but i feel like there is a point at which the obsession with breastfeeding becomes something a little creepier than just mama-feeding-baby-naturally. anyway i've already mentioned how i *personally* feel about extended BF (no way) so i'm probably just repeating myself on a similar tangent here.

sure, there was good advice for what to do about engorgement, plugged ducts, etc, but you can find all that online without the hoo-ha it's surrounded by in the book.

i guess i was a little bit offended(? is that it?) by the attitude taken in the book that breastfeeding is THE ULTIMATE in being a mother... as if pregnancy and delivery and years of nurturing pale in comparison to the simple act of feeding the baby with your body... and i just think that's ridiculous. true, i have yet to experience it, but come on. seriously? not every woman who formula-feeds has bonding issues. not every woman who breastfeeds is a good mother. but they really seemed to present it that way, and i found it disturbing and completely illogical. i'm sorry but 18+ years of caring for and loving someone (not to mention 9 months of sharing a body!) mean more than a scrawny 6 months of intimate physical contact, hormones or not.

...and if it doesn't, we have more problems as a species than i ever thought imaginable.

disclaimer, a bit late

just in case anyone actually reads this blog, and then decides (as others have) that it's

"boring and pretentious"

i thought i ought to remind you on record that this is my pregnancy journal-- i'm writing for me, not you--so don't read it if you don't like it. or at least, don't complain to me about it. one click will take you someplace else. the internet is cool like that.

o come all ye doubtful...

and bask in the undeniable truth of the pregnant woman's intuition!

IT'S A GIRL! weeee :)

yes, i dreamed of boys, but even so (as you may go back and read at any time) i felt it was a girl from the very beginning. i'm amused that the psychic was wrong, and interested to re-interpret my little 'king of wands' incidents... i already have a theory on what that might have meant since baby is a girly girl.

props to my mom, lauren, traci, and everybody else who said they thought it was girl too.

now a brief rant/concerned discussion about what happened during the ultrasound appt:

i was scheduled at 4pm but the doc (this is the guy who backs-up EVERY midwife in gainesville) had a couple of unexpected surgeries so he didn't actually see me until 830... i have heard amazing things about him from so many people, but frankly i was not impressed. i didn't even really like him at all. i found him condescending and completely uninspiring (strike 1).

then all he wanted to talk about was my blood thing. he said 'you have factor v leiden, heterozygous?'--"yes"--a disbelieving stare, then, 'how do you know that?'--UHHH let me check... a psychic told me? (strike 2) --"i was tested at shands hematology/oncology last may." wtf? then he got all concerned, wanted my history and my dad's, and basically said in no uncertain terms that he couldn't believe the birth center didn't risk me out (strike 3). so my defenses shoot up and i am internally cursing and screaming at myself for even setting foot in his office, knowing that anything he says to the midwives comes down like the word of god. i just fucked my chances and i know it. so i start explaining that the hema told me it's fine, blah blah, i'm getting a letter, the BC wasn't worried; trying to salvage any hope i might have of him NOT ruining my birth, despite the fact that he was obviously not hearing a word i said. he also kept using phrases like "required to be on prophylaxis (ie, heparin)" and all i could think was 'REQUIRED?! who the fuck is going to force me to take it?' but of course i just tried not to bare my teeth at him instead. really bad start for this guy.

now i realize, i really do, that he is used to sub-intelligent, docile women who believe "doctor knows best" and expect him to tell them exactly how to wipe their asses properly, so i don't totally blame him for his flippant attitude... but it was 100% the wrong way to approach me, and if he had looked at my face just once he would've caught that and maybe our relationship could have been saved. but he didn't. and i'm not like the women he is used to.

on to the ultrasound... wow!! she is huge! perfect little legs and arms, she was moving and kicking all over the place, organs in the right places, she sucked her thumb, and at one point gave us a gorgeous profile shot too. as for the indication of her sex... no question there! it was clearly a girl's apparatus. i was so happy... we'll be getting the pics as soon as i bring in a usb drive for them. he altered my due date to may 7 but we're pretending like it didn't change since it's so close to the original estimate anyway.

so, then it's over and instead of politely giving me the towels to wipe the goo off my partially-exposed pubic area, he roughly starts rubbing it off for me. WTF? i already didn't like him, i don't like male doctors, i don't want them touching me even if i DO like them, and he's literally centimeters from assaulting me. it was not a good experience but in the end it was worth knowing she's a girl. and by the end of the appt he basically said he was going to do his own research on fvl and then talk to the BC about it. so we'll see what happens...

today i saw the BC and talked with them about the labor-monitoring situation and the dilation checks, and have good news on one side (dilation only *has* to be checked twice) and neutral news on the other (doppler legally required every 5 min during pushing). so. at least i know what i can say no to and what i have to endure if i stay with them.

matt keeps being really helpful and telling me if we end up at the hospital that he won't let them do anything to me i don't want... he says "i'll bring a gun if i have to" and i laugh, knowing he's only half-kidding. at least he means to protect me at all costs. it is comforting. but i don't know how to tell him i'm having it at home with no help before i will go to the hospital... that won't fall into his comprehensible paradigm of possibilities: how can he protect me if it's just me and the baby, no antagonist? something tells me he will be really uncomfortable with that.

last night was good though, in a 3 of swords sort of way (thanks baby); it was like the final test to lay it all out there and see what the powers-that-be decide about my fate, and whether i will go along with them or not. i think my decision is made, and i have acquired a pretty fatalistic attitude about the whole thing: if they say no BC, i say no help at all. if the BC is ok, we'll do it that way either at home or the center. it feels like the right way to decide it--let the universe take over.

matt was cute when i told him it's a girl... he didn't seem disappointed like i was afraid he might. though he did say we'll just have to make a boy next time :). he said he hopes she looks just like me "but a smidge taller and she'll be perfect." lol.

melamine: not just a chinese problem

did you really have any doubt that this news would be in the headlines soon? as soon as they found it in "chinese milk products" i knew we had an overarching problem as well.

this is from naturalnews.com:

90 Percent of U.S. Infant Formula May Be Contaminated with Melamine; FDA Abruptly Declares Chemical Safe for Babies

by Mike Adams, NaturalNews Editor

(NaturalNews) Up to 90 percent of the infant formula sold in the United States may be contaminated with trace amounts of melamine, the toxic chemical linked to kidney damage, according to recent tests. The FDA's test results, which the agency hid from the public and only released after the Associated Press filed a Freedom of Information Act request, showed that Nestle, Mead Johnson and Enfamil infant formula products were all contaminated with melamine.

The AP is also reporting that Abbott Laboratories conducted its own in-house tests that detected trace levels of melamine in its formula products. Together, these infant formula manufacturers make about 90 percent of the infant formula sold in the United States.

Prior to these test results being made public, the FDA had published a document on its website that explained there was no safe level of melamine contamination in infant formula. Specifically, the FDA stated, "FDA is currently unable to establish any level of melamine and melamine-related compounds in infant formula that does not raise public health concerns."

Once tests found melamine in U.S.-made formula products, however, the FDA changed its story. As of today, the FDA has now officially declared melamine to be safe in infant formula as long as the contamination level is less than one part per million (1 ppm).

Astonishingly: The FDA has no new science to justify its abrupt decision declaring melamine to be safe!

Protecting Big Business instead of American babies

Rather than being based on science, the FDA's decision appears to be based entirely on creating cover for U.S. infant formula manufacturers whose products were found to be contaminated with melamine. The "acceptable" level of contamination (1 ppm) is conveniently just above the levels found in U.S. infant formula products, thus placing U.S. infant formula in the "safe" contamination level category.

And yet the FDA has conducted no safety testing whatsoever to determine whether 1ppm of melamine is safe for infants to consume. There is no science involved in this decision whatsoever. Rather than this decision being based on science, the FDA is once again resorting to politically-motivated decisions that seek to protect the profits of Big Business rather than the safety of infants and children.

Recall that the FDA also recently declared Bisphenol-A to be safe for infants to consume, even while countries like Canada banned the chemical from baby bottles. The FDA, it seems has never met a corporate-sponsored chemical it didn't like.

Where did the melamine come from?

Laughingly, the FDA claims the 1ppm of melamine in U.S. infant formula must have come from the manufacturing machines or food packaging equipment. And yet the AP is reporting that the expected level of melamine contamination from manufacturing equipment is only 15 ppb (parts per billion).

But the FDA's own tests on Mead Johnson infant formula reveal it to contain 245 ppb, or 1600% more than what would be expected to exists due to melamine contamination from manufacturing equipment.

There are two really important questions that any intelligent consumer should be asking about all this:

Question #1) If the manufacturing and packaging equipment is contaminated with melamine, does this mean that ALL food products containing milk protein are similarly contaminated? The same companies that make infant formula also make Slim Fast, Ensure and Boost -- all are milk protein-based meal replacement products containing many of the same ingredients as infant formula. Are they contaminated with melamine, too?

Question #2) If manufacturing and packaging machinery should only result in melamine contamination levels of 15 ppb, and yet 245 ppb were found in the infant formula, then where did all the extra melamine come from? The FDA has no explanation for this and seems to hope people will forget to ask.

Two theories of melamine contamination

I offer two theories to explain the melamine contamination of these products. Obviously, the contamination could not be caused by the manufacturing and packaging of the product, because the melamine levels already found in U.S. infant formula products greatly exceed the expected levels from such manufacturing and packaging. The following two theories may explain the additional levels of detected melamine.

Theory #1: The infant formula is adulterated with melamine

This is what happened in China: Infant formula manufacturers added melamine to their milk protein to bulk up the product without adding much cost (melamine is much cheaper than milk protein). Because melamine's chemical profile is strikingly similar to milk protein, it can often fool simple protein analysis tests and appear to be legitimate.

If infant formula products use any milk protein from China, it could very easily have been adulterated with melamine. However, this is just a theory, and NaturalNews has no evidence that U.S. infant formula manufacturers actually used milk protein from China. Thus, we do not believe Theory #1 to be correct. Theory #2, below, seems more likely.

Theory #2: U.S. dairy operations are using animal feed contaminated with melamine

Because melamine is passed through cow's milk, the contamination of U.S. dairy cows with melamine through their feed could result in high melamine concentrations in the resulting milk proteins.

China has already admitted that melamine has been detected in alarming quantities in animal feed there, and tests have already shown chickens to be contaminated with the chemical. The question today is this: Do U.S. dairy farms use animal feed containing ingredients imported from China?

If so, then we may have a problem here that's much, much bigger than infant formula. We may have a dairy industry that's producing melamine-contaminated milk, which could mean that virtually all milk, yoghurt, butter and cheese produced in the U.S. might be contaminated with some level of melamine.

Again, NaturalNews has no proof that this is the situation, but the melamine must have come from somewhere. It didn't just spontaneously generate in the infant formula as the FDA would seemingly want us to believe. If the milk proteins in infant formula are contaminated with melamine, then it stands to reason that the milk proteins used throughout the food supply may also be contaminated.

We may, indeed, be looking at an industry-wide problem here. Powdered milk, meal replacement products and even milk protein drinks may all be contaminated with melamine at levels similar to the infant formula products.

Because you have to follow the logic here: Either the infant formula manufacturers ADDED melamine to their products (highly unlikely), or the entire milk product industry has a melamine problem.

You can't logically conclude that these infant formula manufacturers somehow got all the melamine-contaminated milk proteins but everybody else got melamine-free milk proteins. Milk proteins are a commodity in the food industry, and milk from thousands of different cows can all be mixed together in a single pound of milk protein. What could be happening here is that one dairy farm may have highly-contaminated cows because it used cheap feed fillers from China.

At this point, this is all just a theory, but it's a theory that makes sense. It makes a lot more sense than the FDA's theory that there's no problem and babies should just keep drinking melamine (and Bisphenol-A, for that matter...) and the press should stop asking questions.

Secret tests and public lies

There's no doubt that these infant formula manufacturers are pursuing the very same contamination theories I'm describing here. They're probably scrambling to test their milk protein sources, trying to figure out where all the extra melamine is coming from.

As usual, they'll try to keep the test results secret, preventing this from exploding into a much larger public health issue. The FDA, for its part, will continue to conduct any actual science in secret, preventing the public from knowing the tests results unless it is sued by organizations like the AP.

That's assuming the FDA conducts any science at all, because now the FDA believes it can declare contaminants to be safe at a level it just invents on the spot, without conducting any science whatsoever. The FDA is playing "Wheel of Fortune" with public safety (http://www.naturalnews.com/023681.html), and it's relying on guessing games - rather than actual science - to declare safety levels of chemicals it doesn't even understand.

The upshot of all this is really quite simple: People who feed their babies manufactured, mainstream infant formula products are fools! If there was ever a reason to breastfeed your baby, this is it. And if you're looking for truly safe infant formula products, go with natural brands such as Genesis Organics Goat Milk Formula (www.GenesisOrganics.com) or other "natural" brands that don't use cheap cow's milk proteins.

After all, it's quite clear at this point that the FDA doesn't care about your baby's health. You're the only one who can protect your baby from melamine. The FDA flat out refuses to do so. In fact, it's doing the opposite by declaring melamine to be safe!

So stop buying conventional infant formula products and start feeding your baby what it was meant to consume: Human breast milk from a healthy, well-nourished mom who eats lots of omega-3 oils and superfoods.

That's the best infant formula in the world. And by the way, human babies shouldn't be drinking bovine milk in the first place. The whole infant formula industry was a scam long before melamine came along. Now it's a contaminated scam.


***

while the author is kind of a dick about it, i have to agree... human babies were meant to drink human milk, not cow's milk. if you have trouble breast feeding, contact la leche league or the place you birthed at--they WILL have help for you. and don't automatically believe your doc when he tells you your baby is not getting enough nutrition from your breasts. if the baby is happy and feeding, you are doing just fine. every person is different; all medical standards are the same.