man, i thought i was going to squeak by without them this time... but no, i had my first leg cramp last night. i've been feeling them coming on lately but somehow managed to stave off a true cramp until now. they hurt so bad!!
i'm also having trouble sleeping and i'm not sure why. i was up a lot last night, had sweating issues, and slept more lightly than usual. my dreams were also something to be reckoned with, but left me with a sense of relief and gratitude, which is unusual for me... emotional dreams usually mean i end up with residual anxiety or anger during the day. i dreamed that matt and i were not together yet, and i was sort of competing for his attentions with a few other girls (a la vh1 reality shows??), but i was really in love with him and i couldn't deal with the uncertainty. so i finally broke down and told him i was leaving unless he figured out whether he wanted me or not pronto, because i didn't want to watch him flirt with other people. he got really serious and sorry and informed me that we were already married with a child, i was pregnant with another, and he had no interest in the other girls. this was all 100% news to me and i basically just broke down hysterical with relief and a little bit of confusion, but all was well as i suddenly remembered we had a life together. then there was a part where he was upset that i had loved him and not found him sooner, as though he were saying he would've preferred to avoid his previous relationships if he could've. my response was that i didn't know him well enough, and i didn't know i would love him back then... all very strange and retrospective emotional overtones in this dream. i was just SO GLAD to hear him say we were already married. still am.
rowan and i went to poe springs yesterday with a friend and her also-one-year-old, which was fun. rowan had not been to the river yet. we're going again on friday to a more kid-friendly place and i am very excited about it. she's just inches away from walking on her own, so i really hope seeing these other kids doing it will spur her envy enough to make it happen, since i need her to be on her feet before this baby is born!
i think i am going on 25 weeks this friday, and little man is pretty active. still no name, though i brought it up last night so i hope matt is thinking hard too. only a few months left...
i'm also having trouble sleeping and i'm not sure why. i was up a lot last night, had sweating issues, and slept more lightly than usual. my dreams were also something to be reckoned with, but left me with a sense of relief and gratitude, which is unusual for me... emotional dreams usually mean i end up with residual anxiety or anger during the day. i dreamed that matt and i were not together yet, and i was sort of competing for his attentions with a few other girls (a la vh1 reality shows??), but i was really in love with him and i couldn't deal with the uncertainty. so i finally broke down and told him i was leaving unless he figured out whether he wanted me or not pronto, because i didn't want to watch him flirt with other people. he got really serious and sorry and informed me that we were already married with a child, i was pregnant with another, and he had no interest in the other girls. this was all 100% news to me and i basically just broke down hysterical with relief and a little bit of confusion, but all was well as i suddenly remembered we had a life together. then there was a part where he was upset that i had loved him and not found him sooner, as though he were saying he would've preferred to avoid his previous relationships if he could've. my response was that i didn't know him well enough, and i didn't know i would love him back then... all very strange and retrospective emotional overtones in this dream. i was just SO GLAD to hear him say we were already married. still am.
rowan and i went to poe springs yesterday with a friend and her also-one-year-old, which was fun. rowan had not been to the river yet. we're going again on friday to a more kid-friendly place and i am very excited about it. she's just inches away from walking on her own, so i really hope seeing these other kids doing it will spur her envy enough to make it happen, since i need her to be on her feet before this baby is born!
i think i am going on 25 weeks this friday, and little man is pretty active. still no name, though i brought it up last night so i hope matt is thinking hard too. only a few months left...
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