oh yes, the pregnancy dreams have been back in full force for months now. they have been getting weirder and weirder, and i think one of last night's was lucid, in fact.
i dreamed that i was at the hospital--apparently it was time to have the baby though i have NO idea why i was there and not at home. i was in my own room but i wasn't having any contractions, and matt was there, and maybe my parents or someone else. there were three nurses/docs attending me, all youngish men, and they did an exam that i remember really hurting, and maybe there was blood involved. it's almost like i was half-asleep while they did it, because afterwards when i was told (or somehow realized) that they had broken my water, i was FURIOUS. i starting screaming bloody murder at them that they did not get consent, that i was not going on a 24-hour timer, that i was going to sue them for not giving me informed consent... and i went on to scream a lecture about that until finally one of them said he was sorry and it was his fault, another was silent, and the third argued back and had an attitude at me.
part of the reason i was so pissed was because i wasn't having contractions and i knew it was too early to do anything like that. the other part is that they weren't supposed to touch me without permission. * i remember thinking that i hoped it was so early that the sac would heal itself and refill quickly. i experienced all of this so vividly and i remember laying there waiting for contractions and thinking i was so tired and it was too early... i am sure i was participating in this dream. i was definitely conscious of all the things i was yelling at the jackasses. for some strange reason though, matt was staying silent. (i don't know if it was the pain killers for his teeth or something like this addresses, but matt seemed pretty disempowered during rowan's delivery.)
there was another less vivid dream about random things in which two of my friends who are already married were getting married at a restaurant and i guess i was helping in some way, though i had rowan there so i'm not sure if i was just in the way. it was strange but not particularly significant. one of those dreams where i can't see very well--i can't open my eyes--because, as i learn on waking, the sun is glaring in my face as i sleep. lol.
rowan had her usual bottle at 630am and then slept again until 8:00!!! i haven't slept till 8am in MONTHS. did i ever mention we breastfed for the last time on mother's day? my milk was basically gone after that february illness, i'm pregnant, and she was never really dying to nurse, so we gave up... and she hasn't tried since. it makes me a little sad, honestly, but at the same time it needed to happen so that she didn't see me giving preference to 'the baby' on yet another thing. alas...
*as i think about this rationally i am tying it to the circumcision thing... i think what i was actually afraid of was that the little guy would be cut without anyone asking us. ????
i dreamed that i was at the hospital--apparently it was time to have the baby though i have NO idea why i was there and not at home. i was in my own room but i wasn't having any contractions, and matt was there, and maybe my parents or someone else. there were three nurses/docs attending me, all youngish men, and they did an exam that i remember really hurting, and maybe there was blood involved. it's almost like i was half-asleep while they did it, because afterwards when i was told (or somehow realized) that they had broken my water, i was FURIOUS. i starting screaming bloody murder at them that they did not get consent, that i was not going on a 24-hour timer, that i was going to sue them for not giving me informed consent... and i went on to scream a lecture about that until finally one of them said he was sorry and it was his fault, another was silent, and the third argued back and had an attitude at me.
part of the reason i was so pissed was because i wasn't having contractions and i knew it was too early to do anything like that. the other part is that they weren't supposed to touch me without permission. * i remember thinking that i hoped it was so early that the sac would heal itself and refill quickly. i experienced all of this so vividly and i remember laying there waiting for contractions and thinking i was so tired and it was too early... i am sure i was participating in this dream. i was definitely conscious of all the things i was yelling at the jackasses. for some strange reason though, matt was staying silent. (i don't know if it was the pain killers for his teeth or something like this addresses, but matt seemed pretty disempowered during rowan's delivery.)
there was another less vivid dream about random things in which two of my friends who are already married were getting married at a restaurant and i guess i was helping in some way, though i had rowan there so i'm not sure if i was just in the way. it was strange but not particularly significant. one of those dreams where i can't see very well--i can't open my eyes--because, as i learn on waking, the sun is glaring in my face as i sleep. lol.
rowan had her usual bottle at 630am and then slept again until 8:00!!! i haven't slept till 8am in MONTHS. did i ever mention we breastfed for the last time on mother's day? my milk was basically gone after that february illness, i'm pregnant, and she was never really dying to nurse, so we gave up... and she hasn't tried since. it makes me a little sad, honestly, but at the same time it needed to happen so that she didn't see me giving preference to 'the baby' on yet another thing. alas...
*as i think about this rationally i am tying it to the circumcision thing... i think what i was actually afraid of was that the little guy would be cut without anyone asking us. ????
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