september mama

today i rode my horse (spirit, 'espirit') for the first time in at least 3 years. she's 22 now, but still as gorgeous and fit and spunky as she was 18 years ago when we bought her from an acquaintance of mine. my parents have been kind enough to keep her even though she spends most of her time in the pasture lately, as my sister and i have been busy making babies and unable to ride until recently. she's always had a reputation--among everyone except me, my mom, and my sister--for being crazy and difficult to handle, but the fact is you just have to know her and her little quirks to deal with her. and you have to be confident enough to bluff if you don't. she's a really sweet horse most of the time, but she does have moods now and then and has been known to rear and buck for no apparent reason :). i've learned over many years how to anticipate that kind of behavior and balance my body to survive it, so it's no big deal anymore.

i went out with two of my cousins, which was also nice, and feel like i want to get back into a regular habit of taking spirit out. i had forgotten how meditative it is to ride... when i was in middle and high school, i would spend hours on her just meandering around where we lived, thinking/not thinking and having peaceful alone time. i used to talk to her a lot. there is something really spiritual and zen-like in the trust bond between horse and rider that allows one to blank-out and go with the flow out in the open. (when you think about it, it's nuts--getting on the back of a large beast weighing about a ton with a mind of its own and just a tiny bit of metal in its mouth for control! who the fck wants to do that?? ha.) i had missed that.

i've been thinking for a while now that i would like to be much more involved with horses in general... i was a "barn girl" my whole life and there has been a hole in my life for a long time as a result of my distance from that side of myself. there are two smells in this world that make me think of "home" in the most fundamental sense: the scents of the swampy florida keys ocean, and of a well-used horse barn. i want a couple of horses and a stable. i'm interested in training young horses, when i get my own ass in shape. i want my kids to grow up around horses and know how to handle them. they are beautiful and wonderful animals and i think knowing horses can make us better people.

i wish i had a photo of spirit to share... i will have to take one. anyway, despite the sunburn i acquired, i'm looking forward to many more rides in the near future.