unless it's your own! gaaaah!
the other day at work, after spending 10 minutes pumping the 'liquid gold' my body worked so hard to make, i freakin spilled an entire ounce of it all over the counter where i was washing out my pump paraphernalia. i seriously almost cried, but then i realized the hilarity of enacting such a stupid platitude and i didn't feel like crying anymore.
speaking of breastfeeding... i'm going to ramble for a few minutes on the subject. i strongly recommend that any new moms who may be facing a return to work (at any point) start pumping in a leisurely manner as soon as they have milk. i started using my manual pump casually during feeds (baby on one, pump on the other) about a week after giving birth, and right now i have almost 4 GALLONS of milk stashed away in the freezer. we have a deep freezer, luckily, so i have the space for it. but... any anxiety i might otherwise have about how much rowan drinks vs. how much i pump when i'm not at home is completely irrelevant because there is no way we will be running out of milk without several weeks' notice! it makes life a lot easier... in fact, the only thing i really worry about is whether it will ever be used at all.
i think i already addressed my pump (medela pump-in-style) as a super-handy gadget worth every penny, so i'll leave it at that except to say it's fast which is awesome at work. i hope i mentioned our stint with fenugreek previously as well; if not, i will later.
speaking of work... it's actually fine. i'm not freaking out, i'm not stressed, and it's *almost* nice to be out of the house two days a week. except that i miss her. but i haven't cried about it, and neither has she, really--the first day there were some "where's mama?" tears but after that she has been perfectly happy with my mom. which of course i have mixed feelings about (doesn't she need me?!) but really i'm just glad she isn't stressed and she isn't giving my mom a hard time. they have fun together and i get constant updates via skype, which ROCKS. and work even let me do a 1/2 day from home every week, which is even more rocksome. nothing like answering emails from the Dean of Agricultural and Life Sciences with a baby on my boob; ha.
rowan is 10.5 weeks right now, which is insane... she is so cute though. she's gurgling, cooing, squealing, and laughing and it's all just too much for my brain to process. i feel like my head is going to explode from the cuteness sometimes. she still hasn't quite got the hang of sucking her thumb, but it's close. and she has total head control now, and has rolled over once or twice too. ah, the baby milestones. dairy still upsets her tummy though, alas. i just want some ice cream! but she's teaching herself to only wake up once per night around 430, so that's some consolation i guess. she's such a good baby...
oh and this is weird: she's had a little piece of glitter stuck to her head since about week 2, and no matter that i scrub her head every night in the bath, the glitter remains. i don't want to intentionally scratch it off now (though i do wash her without regard for it) because it has taken on some kind of metaphysical significance--no amount of scrubbing has removed it, nor have clothes-changes, rubbing, kisses, or any of the other million ways we touch her head. so now it's kind of become a game to see how long the glitter stays. did i mention we have NO idea how it got there in the first place? nothing she owns has glitter on it. it's utterly mysterious.
about me... doc decided i have "atrophic vaginitis" which sounds really awful but just means my nether regions are suffering from a lack of estrogen (normal while breastfeeding); thus healing is slowed and the tissues are weak and thin, since apparently that area depends entirely on estrogen for health. so he prescribed me an estrogen cream to use... and i haven't yet. the first one was premarin which i didn't bother to fill the rx for, since i already knew it was made from horse hormones and had no intention of putting that anywhere near my body, evil as its production is. so i called and had it replaced with a synthetic version, and now i'm seriously waffling about using it anyway. estrogen is proven to reduce milk supply AND it passes into the milk, so rowan will be dosed too... estrogen affects bone growth, among other things. so i can't bring myself to use it so far and i'm not sure what to do.
thoughts on the subject:
- if my body isn't making estrogen right now, obviously it doesn't want or need it, right?
- i'm terrified of any decrease in milk supply, and yes, there is some systemic uptake even with a topical cream (skin is really good at absorbing chemicals)
- obviously i don't want her to have any excess hormones that i'm not naturally giving her via my milk (and since i can't have dairy--and use organic anyway--as of now they are only from MY body)
- it would be really nice to have my hoo-ha back to normal in terms of integrity thanks to a little dab of cream
so here i sit, continuing not to use it as i vacillate on whether it's worth the risks. blah.
on a somewhat related note, i'm now officially paranoid that i could possibly have gotten pregnant recently, since i have no idea when my period will be coming or when i should consider it "late" since i have yet to have had one in almost a year... and there was some diving without a wetsuit the other day *ahem*. more than once. so stupid, considering one of my best friends has irish twins for that very reason. but whatever, i warned him! now i just have to hope the window of opportunity is still firmly shut and locked... i'd like to enjoy rowan on her own for a while before we have another baby to steal the spotlight!
the other day at work, after spending 10 minutes pumping the 'liquid gold' my body worked so hard to make, i freakin spilled an entire ounce of it all over the counter where i was washing out my pump paraphernalia. i seriously almost cried, but then i realized the hilarity of enacting such a stupid platitude and i didn't feel like crying anymore.
speaking of breastfeeding... i'm going to ramble for a few minutes on the subject. i strongly recommend that any new moms who may be facing a return to work (at any point) start pumping in a leisurely manner as soon as they have milk. i started using my manual pump casually during feeds (baby on one, pump on the other) about a week after giving birth, and right now i have almost 4 GALLONS of milk stashed away in the freezer. we have a deep freezer, luckily, so i have the space for it. but... any anxiety i might otherwise have about how much rowan drinks vs. how much i pump when i'm not at home is completely irrelevant because there is no way we will be running out of milk without several weeks' notice! it makes life a lot easier... in fact, the only thing i really worry about is whether it will ever be used at all.
i think i already addressed my pump (medela pump-in-style) as a super-handy gadget worth every penny, so i'll leave it at that except to say it's fast which is awesome at work. i hope i mentioned our stint with fenugreek previously as well; if not, i will later.
speaking of work... it's actually fine. i'm not freaking out, i'm not stressed, and it's *almost* nice to be out of the house two days a week. except that i miss her. but i haven't cried about it, and neither has she, really--the first day there were some "where's mama?" tears but after that she has been perfectly happy with my mom. which of course i have mixed feelings about (doesn't she need me?!) but really i'm just glad she isn't stressed and she isn't giving my mom a hard time. they have fun together and i get constant updates via skype, which ROCKS. and work even let me do a 1/2 day from home every week, which is even more rocksome. nothing like answering emails from the Dean of Agricultural and Life Sciences with a baby on my boob; ha.
rowan is 10.5 weeks right now, which is insane... she is so cute though. she's gurgling, cooing, squealing, and laughing and it's all just too much for my brain to process. i feel like my head is going to explode from the cuteness sometimes. she still hasn't quite got the hang of sucking her thumb, but it's close. and she has total head control now, and has rolled over once or twice too. ah, the baby milestones. dairy still upsets her tummy though, alas. i just want some ice cream! but she's teaching herself to only wake up once per night around 430, so that's some consolation i guess. she's such a good baby...
oh and this is weird: she's had a little piece of glitter stuck to her head since about week 2, and no matter that i scrub her head every night in the bath, the glitter remains. i don't want to intentionally scratch it off now (though i do wash her without regard for it) because it has taken on some kind of metaphysical significance--no amount of scrubbing has removed it, nor have clothes-changes, rubbing, kisses, or any of the other million ways we touch her head. so now it's kind of become a game to see how long the glitter stays. did i mention we have NO idea how it got there in the first place? nothing she owns has glitter on it. it's utterly mysterious.
about me... doc decided i have "atrophic vaginitis" which sounds really awful but just means my nether regions are suffering from a lack of estrogen (normal while breastfeeding); thus healing is slowed and the tissues are weak and thin, since apparently that area depends entirely on estrogen for health. so he prescribed me an estrogen cream to use... and i haven't yet. the first one was premarin which i didn't bother to fill the rx for, since i already knew it was made from horse hormones and had no intention of putting that anywhere near my body, evil as its production is. so i called and had it replaced with a synthetic version, and now i'm seriously waffling about using it anyway. estrogen is proven to reduce milk supply AND it passes into the milk, so rowan will be dosed too... estrogen affects bone growth, among other things. so i can't bring myself to use it so far and i'm not sure what to do.
thoughts on the subject:
- if my body isn't making estrogen right now, obviously it doesn't want or need it, right?
- i'm terrified of any decrease in milk supply, and yes, there is some systemic uptake even with a topical cream (skin is really good at absorbing chemicals)
- obviously i don't want her to have any excess hormones that i'm not naturally giving her via my milk (and since i can't have dairy--and use organic anyway--as of now they are only from MY body)
- it would be really nice to have my hoo-ha back to normal in terms of integrity thanks to a little dab of cream
so here i sit, continuing not to use it as i vacillate on whether it's worth the risks. blah.
on a somewhat related note, i'm now officially paranoid that i could possibly have gotten pregnant recently, since i have no idea when my period will be coming or when i should consider it "late" since i have yet to have had one in almost a year... and there was some diving without a wetsuit the other day *ahem*. more than once. so stupid, considering one of my best friends has irish twins for that very reason. but whatever, i warned him! now i just have to hope the window of opportunity is still firmly shut and locked... i'd like to enjoy rowan on her own for a while before we have another baby to steal the spotlight!
Posts
July 31, 2009 at 8:31 PM
Its good to read your updates! Rowan is adorable! I also can't have dairy as Samara has reflux. :( Ive been eating lots of lentil soup and rice and such. Glad work is going well and good for you for getting on the pumping thing.
I totally know what you mean about spilling milk, its so terrible! I have done that once or twice.
And since Im from LHC originally, I have to say your hair is looking great! Mine is driving me nuts and I want to cut it like every day. I have maintained the two week rule so far. Im sure you know this, but if Rowan is sleeping that well at night there is way more possiblity to get pg and AF much sooner. Samara sleeps 6-8 hours at night without waking up and I already got AF back. So annoying but at least there is sleep! :)
August 8, 2009 at 4:23 PM
yep, lentil soup for me too! weird. but tasty.
thanks about the hair thing... i'm pretty amazed at the length and condition right now myself. i still have nappy ends that i need to trim, but i'm holding out for "BCL" (lol) which is about 4 inches away. i can't believe how fast hair grows when you stop thinking about it :)
samara is a really great name! rowan is sleeping that much at night too, and yeah, i know that means i'm potentially fertile. more about that next post...