september mama

so i think i had a contraction today. it was interesting and unlike the cramps i've been having when i walk too fast or something like that. it was low, where it should've been, and not long-lasting or too severe, though i definitely knew something was going on. it wasn't labor, though.

the past few nights i think i have been having them in my sleep also, actually, because today when i woke up i remember thinking that my internal stomach muscles were really tight and how strange that was, but i was too sleepy to pay attention to it. i wouldn't be surprised if i start having them here and there from now on.

on a related note, i'm trying to think of them in a different light... "contraction" is what happens when we close down, pull tight, restrict, and retract away-from... it's a fear-related action and i don't like associating that with birth, even subconsciously. the purpose of "contractions" in the uterus is to dilate and open the cervix, which is a good thing we should all be excited about. it's opening, expanding, and i think imagining it that way will be much more productive than vice versa.

so i'm seeking euphemisms but none of them seem to fit yet. here's what i've got so far:
- surges
- openings
- rushes
- waves
- dilations

but these all sound really lame. i need a new word for them.

on a related note, i found some totally awesome blogs about english usage that cracked me up. adding to my "random links..."

still pregnant. i've had a few comments lately about how i'm "huge" which i find amusingly odd (and even more amusing because i find them odd)... i SHOULD feel huge--when i see myself from outside i'm shocked--but i guess i've just gotten used to my new circumference or something. i'm actually finally adjusting to the extra weight, i think, though it is really, really hard to get out of bed when i have to pee at 3am. seriously, i wake up and feel like my belly is going to bust open b/c it's too heavy sometimes.

interesting new physical changes... my finger joints are sore, right where carpal meets metacarpal. my feet aren't as sore as they were before and the swelling is noticably less, which is nice. i had a pause in weight gain at my last appt, which is also nice. i'm hoping my body is now refining the heretofore glut of water and fat retention, and letting go of what it doesn't need for labor and breastfeeding! i'm sleepy lately; basic stuff exhausts me and i've actually taken a few naps recently. i need them. over the weekend i had a lovely little t.w.i.n.k. party from 1030-1pm and by the time it was over i felt wrung out! i'm still on a fruits-and-veggies kick too, and loving it.

last night matt put the new floors in the nursery and they look SO GOOD! as cheap as they were, i love them. and it only took him an hour or two to install them... tonight he finishes the trim and we are all set, 100% finished with her room. he also said he's going to paint some birds on the wall, which i'm really excited about. it's the first interest he has shown in decorating her space... apparently he has a grand idea to paint a flock (yes i know the word is really "murder" but i'm euphemizing) of crows flying across one of the corners. it should look neat if he actually finds time to do it.

and i have lots of people emailing me about my car, so i think it might actually be sold here any day now. it's great! as soon as we sell it we're going to buy enough of the same flooring to do the living room, dining room, and hallway. i did the math and it looks like less than $750 will cover the whole thing. *excited*

the only obstacle still holding us up is the drywall in the living room, and it is the bane of my existence at this point. all i want are the walls to be done, NOW. so i'm going to talk to him about the plans for this weekend, and if he's too busy, i may have my own little drywall party and invite all his friends to drink beer and perform manual labor with a promise of dinner at the end. it will take two days for sure: day 1 to sand and join again, day 2 to sand again. and then i can paint! and floors can go down! ahh... so exciting.

so this week i have to:
- print a few shirts, as usual
- put the nursery back together
- clear out the dining room of some stuff to accommodate drywall work
- put plastic down on EVERYTHING in prep for what i assume will go on this weekend
- write my thank you notes (!!)
...and we have our last childbirth education class on thursday night.

as of today, i have officially 4 more weeks left of work (20 days!). oh, and the spring garden has officially sprouted--everything came up after the storms this weekend. :D

yeesh. i got a LOT done at work this morning (as i have been doing lately) and now i'm over it. bored. sick of working. looking for something to distract me.

the problem is, i'm almost too bored to seek out something interesting... i just want a nap. blah :\

this morning the baby was moving like cRaZy all over the place, bumping and poking and shifting and squirming. i don't know what got into her, except maybe she was fussing b/c i was starving. i completely overtaken by hunger around 11:15am and for some reason forced myself to wait until 12 for lunch. probably not the best idea.

i have been eating uber-healthy lately though, and that makes me happy. for lunch i've been having organic crackers and organic raw cheese, my daily apple, pineapple, some kimchee (some days), carrots (some days)... and then cookies. i have to have cookies. but i eat little ones and not a lot. i had sushi twice last week at lunch too, which always makes me feel great. and i've been really good at taking my iron and calcium supplements as i'm supposed to, and today i started eating a 45% iron DV organic cereal for breakfast instead of eggs and toast. i'd really prefer the eggs and toast, but i know exactly how much nutrition is in the cereal, so even though it's processed and imperfect, at least i'm getting the vitamins. dinner is more flexible, but i have been really good at eating dark leafy greens and lots of veggies with a big protein something or other (omelet, usually). i'm loving kale and sweet potatoes...

tonight is childbirth education class #3: complications of labor. weeee. this'll be a fun one i'm sure. today i read a birth story in which a woman had "uterine inversion" (holy CRAP-i mean, her story was rough anyway but damn), something i have not heard of before. seems like that would be one of the things they might mention in what to expect when you're expecting... or maybe they did and i skipped that part. i skipped most of that lame book.

anyway so uterine inversion is basically what happens when they do cord traction before the placenta has detached itself, and something like 15% who get it die from it! it can also happen naturally, however. really rare but quite fatal. reading another story from an intern's perspective completely grossed me out... the way they talk about how to fix it... *shudder* ah, complications. yes, this will be a grrrreat class today.

on another cheerful note, matt seems to have burned the bejesus out of one of his eyes yesterday whilst welding. he allegedly had his goggles on and whatnot, but apparently the UV light still got him, and now his eye is all f*cked up, red, and painful. ("Radiation in the ultraviolet range emitted by arc welders is absorbed by the unprotected cornea and lens, giving rise to a keratoconjunctivitis, or 'arc-eye,' which, though intensely painful, is not considered a threat to sight.") he's going to the doc about it this afternoon, though i can't imagine what they will do for him.

meh.

holy crikey. 7 weeks to go, give or take.

we had such a busy weekend that i think she's been kinda tired... the past two days have been quiet in there. i get the occasional wiggle or thump but overall she's calm. i think she rotated, though, which figures (she's feet-down now). i'm not going to worry about it, she likes to move around... we'll see what happens.

i do feel like she's growing a LOT though--i'm starting to notice a distinct limit to my range of motion in terms of bending and twisting and rolling over!

and i'm having sleep issues that seem to be getting worse. i wake up every 1-3 hours right on schedule and have to switch sides or pee... something about laying on one side for too long just doesn't agree with me. and i've been feeling a hovering leg cramp just under the surface that i know will show its ugly face sooner or later. so yeah, i wake up at night. a lot. i cannot wait until i can sleep on my stomach again! *sigh*

also i learned something (important) yesterday. amongst the things i bought over the weekend was a manual breast pump, and i was thinking "hey, wouldn't it be smart to start practicing before she's born?" the answer is NO! unless you are trying to induce labor, do not pump early! apparently--and i should've reasoned this out--the stimulation can start contractions due to hormone production. so however curious you may be about the BFing process and/or the effectiveness of pumping, you just have to wait.

i also bought a pack of these nature babycare diapers as a backup for our cloth stash (and for those first extra-gross meconium poos)... i'm intrigued, but i'm also kind of disappointed that i can't find as much in-depth info as i want on them. they weren't too pricey though, at $10.99 for 44. i doubt i will even use all of them, honestly.

i have to say, i love the adiri bottles i picked out though! obviously i haven't used them yet so i can't really attest to their effectiveness in feeding a baby, but my personal impression is that they are totally freakin' awesome. the whole top part (yes, it looks like a boob, on purpose) is made of a squishy silicone that feels pretty close to a milk-filled breast. and the nipples are shaped anatomically too. it's all supposed to help prevent "nipple confusion" when switching between breast and bottle. yes, nipple confusion is real. i got really annoyed with a know-it-all co-worker the other day who insisted she's 'never seen a baby get that'... except that my friend who just delivered had that exact problem when her baby was given a pacifier too soon! babies have to use a completely different oral technique for bottle vs. breast feeding. ugh. anyway. i figure if you're going to use bottles, even occasionally, they might as well be as close to the real thing as possible. so i'm excited about these. (edit: i just read that they can't be used in a warmer without the "warming cap" so i will probably be returning my bottle warmer rather than buy another gadget to make it work. hot water under the faucet is good enough for me.)

i find it interesting that my brain seems to be prepping itself for newborn care whether i like it or not... normally i'm pretty indifferent to babies, even a little uninterested, at least until they are old enough to communicate verbally. but lately i think they are really cute and sweet. i still don't necessarily want to hold one, but i find i am more interested than i have ever been before, and i can just tell it's hormonal. i had another one of those dreams where my belly skin is like thin rubber or something... i dreamed that rowan's whole body was pushed out, almost like i had no skin at all, and i was holding her and showing matt thinking "wow this is her!!" she looked like a real baby, not too little or wrinkly or anything, just cute. she wasn't being born, she just kinda became visible to the point that it was like there was nothing holding her back. i woke up with a strong sense of maternal...something...i liked holding her, i can imagine now what it will be like to have our baby out here in the world. these are things i have never really given much thought to before; or perhaps i just hadn't had the appropriately maternal emotional response to the thought. apparently now i do.

yikes! big kicks just now.

anyway i can't think of anything else to write, so peace out.

this is not technically pregnancy-related but whatever; i want a record of what we've put in the ground.

the original garden is still growing:
lettuces (3 kinds)
peas
carrots
spinach
onions (will probably die off)
potatoes
garlic?? i can't remember

the new gardens are planted with:
green beans
lima beans
okra
bell peppers
zucchini
yellow squash
cucumbers
beets
turnips
collards
swiss chard
green onions
sweet corn
(flour corn) - awaiting arrival
(tomatoes) - ditto
(eggplant) - ditto
(sweet potatoes) - awaiting season
(more spinach) - awaiting location

i'm pretty excited. matt seems to have a very green thumb--everything he plants grows. but that may just be because of the amount of crazy work he puts into getting perfect soil...