september mama

whew. lots of creative energy lately... too bad my stomach squelches it into mushy, uncomfortable blah-soup before i get to use it! >:( my comeuppance will come though; and on that day i will eat the most stomach-unfriendly food i can find AND knit a project out of vengeance!

today has been rough for some reason. i'm drinking my tea but i just have grumbles in my belly and don't feel good. and i definitely didn't get enough sleep (though the sacrifice was worth it, if you know what i mean).

i didn't notice it before, so i'm not sure it's a new phenomenon, but also my boobs are tingling today. like every now and then they go "bzzzzz" out of nowhere, like a little electric shock.

i've been thinking that since i know about 5 other pregnant chicks within 2 months of me, most of whom will be going back to work post-baby, maybe i will offer to be childcare for them? it would be a convenient way to make some money and socialize little bean all at the same time, and they can have their kids taken care of without the creepy public slime of a daycare center. of course that's assuming my house is clean and in order by then. which it will be. i dunno, i'm going to keep thinking about it. it's pretty appealing at this point...

ok but i just feel icky right now and i'm going to stop writing this. blah. BLAH!

for baby, in no particular order:

-a baby sling
-hooded blanket
-the birdie mobile
-knitted rattle (wrap cat toys in knitting, maybe vegetable shapes, like a pea pod?)
-a few hats of various sizes
-booties! like these if it's a girl
-diaper covers
-a big basketweave blanket (3'x3' or more) for floor time
-a couple of bibs

for me, BEFORE little bean is a human:

-a belly band or two
-some wrist warmers
-finish that damned 'paris loop'
-ear muffs

so my first "baby knit" project is going to be a mobile filled with multi-colored birds like this one from the knittedtoybox:

ain't he cute?! i love it. so i figured a flock of little peeps like this floating over little bean's head would be both interesting and adorable. and it's so small it should take me about 2 hours to knit even on a bad day.

i got a note on my door on 9/24 that a certified letter was waiting for me, but (assuming it was a credit-related harassment) i didn't bother to pick it up until yesterday... to my total shock, and incidentally, amusement, it was a letter from All About Women, the OB/CNM office i went to a few weeks ago.

wondering what the hell they would be sending to me via certified mail, i opened it right there in the post office and immediately burst out laughing:

September 18, 2008

Dear Ms. x,

This letter is to inform you that you are being discharged as a patient of [name], CNM. You are being dismissed for the following reasons:

1. We have a difference in philosophy of care.
2. [something about how they want me to be happy with blah blah] and I do not feel that we can give you the kind of care that you desire.

The rest of the letter was letting me know i have 30 days to see them again "for emergencies only" and that they strongly suggest i find a new provider ASAP.

*rofl*

i didn't even know they could do that!! i've never heard of a doctor "dismissing" a patient. all i can say is i'm glad our philosophical disagreement was clearly not just in my head... however it is quite disturbing to me that they outed me on the simple basis that i questioned the medical necessity of the procedures they wanted to do to me. that was the ONLY thing i did that could possibly have turned her off. i was polite and engaged, but i asked questions and didn't acquiesce with everything she said they'd be doing.

and she's a midwife for f***'s sake! but apparently she doesn't believe in women's ability to dictate their own pregnancies and births despite that...

beware of questioning your doctors. they might decide not to see you anymore! :D

WOW. i don't know why it never occurred to me, but why the hell shouldn't you try to keep your baby diaper free? apparently there is a whole method for essentially potty-training infants to go over a bowl or the toilet (of course you have to get them there in time). just think of the water and hassle that would save, not having to wash diapers... i am definitely going to try that. this whole childcare thing literally seems to get easier the more i read. why on earth have we made this process so built-up and complicated? so full of useless stuff and gadgets and disposable necessities? it's madness i tell you.

and i learned of something called a "blessingway" which is described as:

"A Blessingway is a wonderful ritual for the mother-to-be. It celebrates her step in motherhood (or motherhood again!) Baby showers are a lot of fun and they are a wonderful way to gift new parents things they need for the baby. A blessingway, however, is a unique way to honor the mother."

and they give some suggestions for what to do...

"Beads: This is my favorite blessingway tradition. It is so simple and anybody
can do this, even if they cannot attend the blessingway. Have each person
invited bring or send a bead that they have picked for the mother. The bead
should be something the guest has picked with the mother in mind. At the
blessingway string all the beads onto a cord for the mother to wear during
labor. Many mothers have said that these birth beads give them strength and
focus during labor. It is a powerful and tangible way to show your love and the
community support that surrounds the mother."

ahhhh that made me cry! amazing. i would loooove for people to do that for me. nevermind the party and hair brushing and belly painting (though that's nice too), the bead idea totally rocks. i suppose that could be part of a "normal" baby shower anyway, right?