just because you're paranoid...

as if anybody needed another reason to have a non-hospital birth.

no, we don't live in uzbekistan. but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen to us too.

WHEN her baby died soon after delivery, Gulbahor Zavidova, 28, a poor farmer’s wife, longed to be pregnant again. After months of trying she and her husband visited a doctor who told her she could never have another child because she had been sterilised.

The procedure had been performed immediately after she gave birth, by doctors who did not ask her consent. On learning she could not bear children, her husband left her.

“Not a day passes without me crying,” she said. “I was outraged when I found out what they had done. How could they do such a horrible thing without asking me?”

According to human rights groups, tens of thousands of young women like Zavidova have been sterilised without their consent in the authoritarian former Soviet state of Uzbekistan.

Uzbek sources say the measure was ordered by Islam Karimov, the president, who has ruled with an iron fist for 20 years. The policy is aimed at keeping down the country’s poor population — with 28m people, it is Central Asia’s most densely populated state.

Activists say mass sterilisation began in 2003, but was eased after two years following an outcry. It is said to have restarted in February this year, when the health ministry ordered doctors to recommend sterilisation as an “effective contraceptive”. Critics claim every doctor was told to persuade “at least two women” a month to have the procedure. Doctors who failed faced reprisals and fines.

“We estimate that since February, about 5,000 women have been sterilised without consent,” said a local human rights campaigner who fears detention if she is named.

In many cases, doctors opt for delivery by caesarean section and then perform a sterilisation without telling the woman. Widespread rumours of the practice have resulted in women opting for home births to avoid the risk.

Doctors visited Hidojat Muminova, a 26-year-old cotton picker, at home several months ago. They told the mother of two she should visit a local hospital for a check-up, at which she was diagnosed with a potentially fatal cyst in her fallopian tubes.

“They scared me into believing I needed an urgent operation,” she said. “I was surprised as I’d never had any pain but I was worried and agreed to the surgery. When it was over they told me they’d performed a sterilisation. I could not stop crying. They tricked me and treated me like an animal.”

Another victim, Mahmuda Usupova, 30, said doctors had sterilised her after she gave birth to her third child by caesarean several months ago. She learnt she could no longer have children during a visit to her gynaecologist.

Uzbek authorities deny that sterilisations are carried out without consent, but a report by the United Nations Committee Against Torture reported a “large number” of cases three years ago. According to the UN, Uzbekistan’s fertility rate has fallen from 4.4 babies per woman to 2.5 since Karimov came to power.

...

The Uzbek embassy in Moscow insisted that all sterilisations were carried out at the patient’s request and after the woman’s husband had been told of the consequences.

Some names have been changed. Additional reporting: Marina Ivanova, Tashkent



source: times online

to do list for baby #2 (note to self)

  • prepare foods ahead of time and FREEZE
  • make a stash of labor & postpartum herbal concoctions
  • make a wrap/asian sling
  • get second laundry basket for baby
  • stock a "car bag" and leave it in there for travel
  • setup toddler bed to get rowan excited
  • repair and setup cradle in our room
  • get a haircut (just a trim!)
  • prep the netflix queue
  • modify chores list as needed
  • ASK FOR HELP - plan the family visits in advance, esp 'rowan fun time'
  • by due date, stock up on groceries--especially frozen stuff
  • get supplies:

    • another bottle for backup
    • better infant swing?
    • double stroller? nope - changed my mind
    • crib mattress #2

sick, again

9:58 AM by rhiannon 0 comments
man, this poor baby is getting the short end of the deal. my dad had a nasty stomach thing last week, and two days later *surprise* i had it too. i spent all saturday night vomiting everything that entered my stomach, including water. sunday was spent waddling between the bed and the bathtub, into which i also threw up several times. i could only eat fruit juice popsicles and gingerly sip water... but by lunch on monday i was feeling ok, so i ate, and all seemed well.

then matt's dad came to visit and took us out to eat and i gravely overestimated my wellness (probably because i was in denial about needing the BRAT diet)... which led to more throwing up on tuesday morning. sick again! more popsicles. finally some white rice with soy sauce (woohoo). wednesday was the same. FINALLY today i can eat food--i even had coffee and real breakfast and i feel a lot better.

btw yes, i ate steak. and it was soooo good. i ate it for three days until i felt like i didn't need it anymore, and i've been ok ever since. the weirdest thing is that i was totally prepared for a negative reaction by my stomach after so long of not having meat, but it didn't affect me a bit. it's gross to my head but my body was definitely loving it.

rowan will be ONE YEAR in a few weeks! holy crap! i have a birthday party to plan... as if anyone in their right mind will want to trek out to high springs for a baby party. ha. she has been so cute trying to walk lately, and she loooves playing in the hose/baby pool. she's very silly and growing so fast.

as for the pregnancy, i am 17 weeks now and i look like i'm 6 months pregnant. i don't know what the deal is--extra belly weight, incorrect dates, twins--but it's a little weird. last time i felt my fundus it was in the right place for gestational age, it's just that my belly is so big. i'm assuming it's fat. *sigh* but man this little peanut can KICK! i've been feeling it since about 12 weeks, which i know sounds completely insane, but i am sure it was baby all along. it's infrequent, but last night i got two kicks that were so strong i squeaked with surprise; it felt like somebody poked me. i'm honestly a tad bit worried my dates might be wrong just b/c i shouldn't be feeling it so much so early. either that or this one is an ogre child. lol.

still haven't had a first checkup but i really don't care--i am so over it. next week is my physical and blood work, though. i did get to have a good talk with sarah (my midwife) a few weeks ago, and it really gave me some clarity on my feelings about rowan's birth. i understand why it was so hard to accept, now, and i feel like i'm over it. i don't think it will ever completely go away, but i don't feel like it's affecting me the way it was before. so that's pretty huge.

working on names, but i don't think any progress has been made in the boy department. i'm pretty sure we agree on one or two girl names so i'm not too worried about that, and since the cursed ultrasound (that i don't really want) will be in just a few weeks, we might as well wait to fuss about them until we know what we're having. matt is worrying me though, since he keeps throwing out things like "jedidiah" and i have to keep reminding him yet again that we are neither amish nor christian. goofball.

oh and i had a relatively stressful dream about shoe shopping last night, of all random and pointless things.

poem: being born

Being born is important
You who have stood at the bedposts
and seen a mother on her high harvest day,
the day of the most golden of harvest moons for her.

You who have seen the new wet child
dried behind the ears,
swaddled in soft fresh garments,
pursing its lips and sending a groping mouth
toward nipples where white milk is ready.

You who have seen this love's payday
of wild toiling and sweet agonizing.

You know being born is important.
You know that nothing else was ever so important to you.
You understand that the payday of love is so old,
So involved, so traced with circles of the moon,
So cunning with the secrets of the salts of the blood.
It must be older than the moon, older than salt.

- Carl Sandburg

*taken from the other side of the glass (thanks for posting that!)

the craving sets in

2:16 PM by rhiannon 0 comments
i get it now.

with rowan, i never had any "real" cravings, or if i did they were not unusual enough for me to question instantly satisfying them... but lately i have been mentally drooling over something i haven't eaten in 15+ years.

beef. red, juicy, filthy, ex-animal flesh. i want it SO BADLY. i have absolutely no interest in chicken or pork, just beef. steak. ribs. oh man...

in all the years i was non-red meat, then vegetarian, then vegan, and now 'no feathers or fur' i have never once desired the taste or nutritional content of a quadruped. it's so strange to suddenly want it; at first i wasn't sure what i was craving, and it wasn't until several nights of looking at matt's steaks and thinking 'that looks pretty good..?' that it became clear i actually want to eat meat. even thinking about poor cows likely mistreated horribly before what i can only hope is a quick death doesn't deter the urge to eat it. it's a physical craving. and it's pretty disturbing.

i've been trying really hard to sublimate the cravings into something else, because i don't want to cross that line (even in pregnancy when i "have an excuse")... but then i think, well obviously the baby needs it for some reason, so i'd better go ahead and do it. it's sort of a dilemma because spiritually (or whatever) i don't want to be a carnivore living off other relatively sentient beings' bodies, but at the same time, doing it even if i don't want to is sort of an equal sacrifice for the sake of my baby. right? maybe i'm just rationalizing.

the fact is, i don't want it, but my body is demanding that i need to eat it. how am i supposed to argue with that?!